Absolute Doofus

Someone who is a little bit stupid, but you don't want to tell them that so you say this instead as a "joke"

OH MY GOD YOU ABSOLUTE DOOFUS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

by Jaquavious The Alien™ August 31, 2025

Absolut madman

Not just a regular madman, this madman is a hardcore, vodka drinking, possibly Russian madman who has no limits other than to absolutely ruin themselves or at least try to and partake in the most reckless scenarios since takeshi's castle.

Ah yes my mate Greg

Other day he got fucked and decided to do a piss off a cliff and fell about 20ft bollock naked.

What an absolut madman

by dreams of Jupiter May 6, 2020

As Absolute Balls

To an extreme degree

"It is hot as absolute balls out here. I'm sweating like a pig."

by DoubleDDucky October 3, 2016

Absolute Carrot

An Absolute Carrot is someone who isn't completely tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant; yet is just tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant enough to be agitating to others around them. These types of people are just discrete enough to the point where most people who actually interact with them understand they are deeply flawed, however, everyone else thinks that they are a great guy.

Mike: I have no clue why everyone invited Steven to come to Applebees with us, he told a 9/11 joke to the waitress.
Jeremy: Did he really do that? On September 10th? What an Absolute Carrot!

by EliTried December 21, 2021