L. John

Mostly referred to as "L. John".
Stern, smart,educated, humorous and sarcastic.

Most are lawyers or successful business men.
Despite amazing success and wealth they heave a propensity to get pooped on randomly by birds flying above them...small mishaps are a guarantee!
Very misunderstood by significant others even though they always mean well.

Good fathers and providers for family
Fond of coin collecting.
Most love gambling.
Unique and eccentric and very COOL, period!
Did you see that lawyer on CNN who won that court case? He was pretty smart, but defiantly no L .John

That guy at the blackjack table is so L. John. Clever & usually wins!

If I needed someone to scare boys away from my teenage daughter, I would put on my L. John face! It scared me man. Back in the day....
by Kirty412 April 29, 2014
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John Thumb

Defined as the act of releasing one’s bowels in a manner where the shape of said excrement perfectly fits into the bottom of said toilet, plugging up the hole well enough to prevent successful flushing. Similar to the tale of the boy holding back a leaking wall with his thumb, this unintentionally shaped turd plug seats itself tight enough to hamper draining of thy marble throne.
Once I was finally able to push out that brown submarine from my ass, the dam turdpedo clogged my toilet so bad that my plumber said he doesn’t respond to JOHN THUMB service calls.
by Apologetic Shiek December 16, 2023
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john thumb

A perfectly shaped shit which falls from one's out spout, sinking in your toilet water and clogging it. This dense anal crueller strategically seals thy throne drain just as that small boys thumb held back a wall of water.
The immense relief I felt after finally birthing the largest shit in history, was squashed when my toilet couldn't flush overflowing from my John Thumb.
by Apologetic Shiek January 18, 2024
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Faker John

Faker John is one the three "Untouchables" in the John Chart™ along with Maria Williams and Peter
Faker John's represent the polar opposite of Johns, they are unfriendly, lazy, extremely hard to approach and tend to possess psychopathic tendencies.
Person 1: Matthew is such a jerk! Can you believe what he did to Jenny?
Person 2: Yeah, what the hell, he's such a Faker John
by PixelManGaming January 22, 2023
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john risotto

john risotto
by Pim Neven March 20, 2024
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On John cross

When someone really ain’t believing you or felling you hit em with the on John cross because some people don’t be felling on god
Leyton-Aye I got to dog pregnant

Lukas-No you didn’t

Leyton-on John cross I did
by Leyton Richland September 25, 2020
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John Ceccoli

John Ceccoli boinked Caroline because they are dating.
by Tara Himen October 03, 2018
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