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John

A middle aged fat guy who spends his days unemployed, getting drunk, and making everyone around him feel awkward. Most likely divorced and his kids act like he doesn’t exist. He is probably single and trying to hit on women at the bar that he will never have a chance with, or remarried to the first loser who settled for him while still doing that. He is always asking friends or family for loans to buy stuff he can’t afford. He is commonly seen wearing a white t shirt at the lake, an oversized watch to keep up the false appearance of a lifestyle he doesn’t have, or driving an oversized truck/SUV he can’t afford. He acts like a corporate big shot and tries to strut around like he owns everything, but can barely make it 20 feet without gasping for dear life. Avoid John and guys like him unless you like losers who mistake their extra body mass for muscle.
“My husband is a dick to the kids, a dick to me, a dick to everyone, but without him I can’t have the house we can’t afford and will have to move back in with my mom.”

“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”

“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”

I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
by Make feather hat get fat February 5, 2024
mugGet the Johnmug.

John Ham Boy

Loves the word, "Poopy in my butthole, Poopy in my butthole." looks like a rat. And wil forver be 4'2. Loves poopy in my butthole. Cant skate for his life.
John Ham Boy

cant skate ikr
by yungggphat July 2, 2019
mugGet the John Ham Boymug.

John O’Leary’d

When one has drank the top shelf dry, it usually results in one being.. John O’Leary’d
Not heading out tonight man! Got John O’Leary’d last weekend still haven’t recovered
by Well Boi January 9, 2019
mugGet the John O’Leary’dmug.

John Lowery

A modified Tsunami Shot. When a woman performs oral sex on a male. Upon ejaculation, the woman spits the semen back in the male’s face followed by a slap to the male’s face. Woman must yell, “Don’t treat me like a slut, John Lowery.”
Tim has been quiet since Sara pulled a John Lowery on him.
by Michael Orville April 19, 2024
mugGet the John Lowerymug.

the john fisher

The John fisher is a school full of rode men that are all on job all pull girls and don’t rate calmoes and all gym lads
by Zach is hot April 19, 2018
mugGet the the john fishermug.

John william

A class person ,legend fighter and has a unique marksman shot.Main hobbies would be weapons and sports.main sport clay shooting.
by Sniper96 October 6, 2018
mugGet the John williammug.

John

being John af means being zooted and booted like my nig john💯
"no cap im John af rn"
by nolimitj13 June 16, 2023
mugGet the Johnmug.

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