Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.

Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

Bush Boner

When you black out and wake up in a bush the next day with morning wood. In the ideal situation, your penis should be the only thing sticking out of the bush.

"Damn bro we were so fucked up last night, I woke up with a Bush Boner. Good thing the landscapers didn't chop my dick off!"

by bigballerboi November 20, 2019

Terror boner

When a man has the sudden urge to get as far away from someone as possible, while also desperately wanting to fuck them.

We were just getting hot and heavy when she pulled a knife out of the nightstand and started spanking herself with the side of it. Total terror boner.

by Lkjh.1234 April 22, 2018

period boner

when your tampon or pad is soaked and you don't have any extras so you stuff your underwear with tissues and it looks like a boner

oh shit I just realized I made myself a period boner

by Nothingsushere April 19, 2016

Hard Bonerism

a man whos motto is: If she has fluff on the muff she is old enough.

Will is a hard bonerism.

by The Fuzzy Nut January 17, 2013

counter-boner

When your significant other becomes horny at the thought of you, and the thought of them being horny at the thought of you makes you horny in turn.

Girl: Oh babe, your back muscles are sooo defined and it's turning me on.

Guy: -moan- (now erect, as counter-boner)

by LufffiStudios August 31, 2013

Sour Boner

A fowl smelling erection, a wang that may have not seen soap and water for several days.

"Susie gave me head after five days of hiking and camping, gagged her with a Sour Boner"

by Super destroyer fuck machine August 17, 2011