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Florida Man

a Man from Florida whos does cool crazy and elaborate shit usullay accompanied by his Gator sidekick
damn john seems to be a real Florida man seen him exploding lawn gnomes and other objects walked his pet gator in public too lit himself on fire last week yea that's john for you. (john is a placement name nota real Florida man name)
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Florida Man

Florida Man is an elusive entity that only comes out at 1:00 am it's usually seen at gas stations or at playgrounds this entity can be very hostile don't drink monster energy near this entity it can smell it from miles away,don't shine your flashlight at it it hates anything to do with light,Don't drink any sort of alcohol if it gets ahold of alcohol Florida Man will evolve into it's final form. How can you tell if it's a Florida Man? The first sign that you encountered a Florida Man is the smell if you smell,if it smells like sweaty moster energy with a hint of pee then it might be a Florida Man. The second sign is that time and space seems like it has stopped. If you have one of these signs it's not to late run as fast as you can.The third sign is reality is starting to shift objects just start appearing out of nowhere.The last sign is Florida Man itself it's usually floating in the air ong stained anime body pillows if you're seeing this it's too late to turn back,You're one of us now.
Kyle:Is that a Florida Man?
Karen:Omg it is!!!
by aRandomNoob7 November 15, 2020
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Florida Man Colonsseum

Everyone has heard an adult human rectum can stretch to 7 inches without tearing; and that raccoons can fit into holes as small as four inches. The Florida Man, takes advantage of those last few inches of clearance with the addition of an adult brown striped Atlantic octopus. Octopi can fit into anything larger than their beak. So to preform the Florida Man, one must simply trap a dumpster raccoon, catch an adult Atlantic octopus, and then hogtie the raccoon using the Optimus’s tentacles. At that point a fair amount of axle grease should ease the transition into the rectum, potato cannons can also be used for extra Florida points. The two animals will then fight to the death in the recipient’s rectum, without ever tearing the sphincter.

Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.

It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.
Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen come into the ER? We once had a guy come in with a dead raccoon and a live octopus up his ass. Everyone with him apparently had bets going about which animal would be dead when we removed them. They called it the Florida Man Colonsseum
by Jdh1002 April 11, 2023
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