god loves you

the thing my mom said to me before sending me to him

"mom my tests came back i have autism"
"god loves you...*cocks shotgun*"

by cockmaster45 October 6, 2022

Oh my god, you are such a Capricorn

Said every fucking white girl in America who thinks she's cool, mystique, and spiritual because she knows about obsolete astrology concepts and just told you this because you did some minor stupid shit and Capricorn happens to be your sign. The application may vary depending on the victim's corresponding zodiac sign.

You, a Capricorn: "Hey guys I'll be right back, I gotta clean up some glass from a vase I knocked over."

That one fucking bitch at the party: "Oh my god, you are such a Capricorn"

by ThePopSmoke(whoisdead) January 18, 2021

god got you

some people are so arrogant with their selfish actions that the only one who will handle them is god in the end.

Only god can judge me so god got you.

by Pixie Bxtch September 10, 2020

Does God speak to you?

No. It doesn't. The guy ASKING whether or God speaks to you doesn't believe in God and the ANSWER to him was "Yes. God talks to you. It's your conscience. That's God."

Dr. JeepJorp "Does God speak to you?"

Hym "If you don't BELIEVE IN GOD AS AN ENTITY WITH AN INDEPENDENT WILL AND A CAPACITY FOR DISCOURSE... NO... It doesn't. Do you, Not-Dr. Jordan Peterson, BELIEVE... That your conscience... Is a guy? Because for you conscience... To BE God... It would have... To BE A GUY... Is that what you think is happening there Dr. Jordan Peterson? Your conscience is a guy talking to you. That's what you believe?"

by Hym Iam February 2, 2024

oma god you suck

a guy that says anything he wants and sucks on everything hahaha you suck you idiot for not sucking on he's balls

look its that one guy that says oma god you suck

by hahahahahahshaahaha you suck December 10, 2021

The God you worship

IT LITERALLY SAYS TO DO THAT IN THE BIBLE! NUMBERS 31! HE QUOTED THE THING!

Hym "The God that YOU worship DOES THAT! IT LITERALLY DOES THAT! IN NUMBERS! NUMBERS 31! HOOOOOOLY SHIT! 'If the God you worship tells you to murder children and rape women... Then you aren't worshipping God' ~ Ben Shapiro. IT DOES THAT! IN THE BIBLE! God... Tells them to kill all of the men, children, and women who have known a man... And then take the little girls as wives... It literally says the thing that you're saying God DOESN'T SAY! It's right there! How do you reconcile that!? How do you reconcile that with the thing you said!? Wow! This is wild! Really, we love ironic punishment until it swings right back around and somebody does a LITERAL number 31 on you... To you... Damn! That's sad. This is kind of sad actually. Hmmm... Oh, well. It's just weird to see you say that God wouldn't tell people to do the thing he definitely told peoole to do!"

by Hym Iam October 9, 2023

What sort of God would make you kill kids?

YOUR GOD, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! GODDAMN! YOURS! NUMBERS, DEUTERONOMY, JUDGES!

Hym "What sort of God would make you kill kids? The Christian one does that all the time! Sometimes he kills them himself! How many people died in the flood? All of them? Yours! That one! Literally every kid that dies of cancer or disease is the victim of God's eternal maiming of humanity."

by Hym Iam November 7, 2023