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slow worm

1. Someone with both a tendency to be late and yet somehow either inconsequentially or fortuitously so.

They may tend to either get away with it or even dodge the bullet.

They tend to simultaneously be a late worm. The early bird gets the worm. The late worm misses the bird but not the mud, there is always mud. Thus, it is not only better to be early but also to be late.

A slow worm is always late and thus bird proof. A survivor, escaping fate on account of being slow, retarded, delayed, behind, late, etc.

2. Something that is not a worm nor a snake but a fake snake.

It is in fact a lizard that has had its legs ripped off to pass as a snake to hawk on the highly lucrative snake market. Snake is used abroad as a delicacy to make either snake cake which is believed to bestow immense sexual prowess or snake bake which exorcizes unholy spirits inhabiting the left ear canal.

Lizard is only used in traditional medicine to make lizard custard, a purgative of such incredible and excruciating potency that it is rarely desirable out side of a few niche markets such as the Japanese tub porn industry. Supply far exceeds demand and it is of little value.

Sometimes referred to as a trans-snake. Not to be confused with Phalloplasty.
Steve: Holy shit! Did you see the news?
Dave: No, what's up.
Steve: Jack's plane crashed, no one survived.
Dave: Did he die?
Steve: No, he was late, he missed his flight.
Dave: He was always a slow worm.

Steve: Did you see Jack's latest Donkey Porn?
Dave: Yes, it was gross. Looked like a chocolate geyser.
Steve: Looked like a whale blowing sewage out of its blowhole.
Dave: She should submit it to the Guinness Book of Records.
Steve: They probably won't accept it, they'll say they can't rule out doping.
Dave: What do you mean?
Steve: She probably downed a pint of slow worm before the shoot.
Dave: More like chute.
by DeluxeFartJuiceLevelNine January 28, 2023
mugGet the slow wormmug.

slow cheat

The act of slowly engaging in romantic affairs before ending the current relationship
I began to loose interest in my current relationship, so I started the slow cheat with people in my DM
by Bodega Dave January 31, 2022
mugGet the slow cheatmug.

slow yes

Like soft yes, but slower and often used by politicians.
A decision that is decided with a slow yes.
Being slowly committed but not at the same time
Adam: Do you want to go to Mcdonald's?

Saul: Slow yes
by slowyes May 18, 2022
mugGet the slow yesmug.

slow stink

oh there is somebody's slow stink on you, you hoe !
by YazanKoz May 22, 2016
mugGet the slow stinkmug.

Slow ghost

Also known as slow ghosting. This is defined as when someone ends a relationship with someone in a longer timeframe than a regular ghosting. This can include girlfriends, boyfriends, bosses, coworkers, realtors, and the like.
Billy totally slow ghosted me over the course of the week. We were supposed to go to O'charleys on Saturday for apps.
by Driiiizyyy September 4, 2019
mugGet the Slow ghostmug.

slow fuse

When a person doesn't get upset/angry/sad easily, he/she is a slow fuse.
I have been bothering her for a long time, and she's not angry yet... she's such a slow fuse.
by Comar02 February 8, 2017
mugGet the slow fusemug.

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