Status Tard

A low-life who updates statuses ever 5 minutes, trying to give fellow Facebookers a deep and meaningful status which directly translates to: 'derp, derp. I cannot spell. I also believe using numbers that resemble the sounds of words is more intellectual than spelling words correctly.'
A Status Tard shares their wisdom.

life is life u some time cant stop thing from hapening as they say u got 2 take the good and bad in life to funcsoin in life that is my avise to da world.
by Turkish Delight. June 19, 2011
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tard-wad

The act of being a complete moron. It replaces more offensive words that piss people off.
Person 1: Did you see that guy use his baby as a hacky sack?
Person 2: Yeah, what a tard-wad.
by Meetah April 20, 2010
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Mall-Tard

An angst-ridden, unhappy child, anywhere from the age of 13-19, who's only dream that he/she hasn't given up on is to venture to the mall whenever he/she is not in school (and as long as mommy's giving him/her a ride) and collaborate with other Mall-Tards like him/herself.

80% of Mall-Tards specifically are overweight, 15 year-old scene girls, who tend to insult any unsuspecting passerby under their breath, without mercy or remorse. Beware the Mall-Tard when in groups. Very much like the nimble wolf, they have power in numbers. Groups of Mall-Tards may even muster up enough backbone to say something unkind to you within the range of decibels that the human ear can pick up!

Not unlike the wolf, the Mall-Tard is rarely seen outside of its pack- although they have been known to split from their main company into smaller platoons in order to cover more area. This can be useful when said Mall-Tards want to have their presence known in the food court, but can't sacrifice the search for the extra-small Bullet for My Valentine shirts in Hot Topic.

Mall-Tards have a never-ending hatred for all that walks on two legs- and beyond. Many theorize that this hatred is manifested from the smoldering remains of their haunted and traumatic pasts, but many experts in the field also argue that they are only pussies and ass-eaters with no knowledge of the world or its people, and have plenty of their parents money to blow.
EX:1
Dude 1: Dude, let's just go into Teavana- I can see a gaggle of Mall-Tards coming straight for us!
Dude 2: But they always try to sell you shit in there...
Dude 1: THERE'S NO FUCKING TIME LET'S GO!!!

EX:2

Mall-Tard girl: Hey!! You want my phone number sexxxy?!!
Dude: No- what are you like 10?
Mall-Tard Girl: FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FAGGOT ASS CUNTLICKING RETARDFAG I HOPE YOUR BOYFRIEND DIES!!!1!
Dude's friend: Dude you just got Mall-Tarded!

EX:3

Mall-Tard 1: I hate waiting outside of Vitamin World! I wanna die! Look at all of these fags trying to buy their faggot ass fag pills.

Man walking into Vitamin World: *Stops and stares*
(Mall-Tard 1 Immediately turns around and hides amongst his fellow Mall-Tards; Man walks away)
Mall-Tard 2: Don't worry, that guy was a fag
by dojo24 November 18, 2010
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Douche-Tard

A majorly retarded douche-bag. Self explanatory.
Russ Thompson can be a major douche-tard at parties.
by WouldntULikeToKnow September 01, 2014
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Chung tard

Did you see that guy jump off that ledge he’s an absolute chung tard
by Dat boi brendo April 21, 2020
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alarm tard

Someone who sets multiple alarms. When each alarm goes off the alarm tard hits the snooze button as many times as possible. These people know exactly how many times they can hit snooze befor they are cut off too. That is why they have set multiple alarms. The alarm tard generally will make sure alarms are going off every 10 minutes for hours prior to their actual wake-up itme... HOURS!!!!
Alarm tard/alarm (ata): BEEP BEEP BEEP... hits snooze
Man: "Grumble" falls back asleep
(ata): BEEP BEEP BEEP... hits snooze
Man: "Grumble" falls back asleep
(ata): BEEP BEEP BEEP... hits snooze
Man: "Grumble" falls back asleep
(ata): BEEP BEEP BEEP... hits snooze
Man:WTF!!!
by Dj Ezdik February 27, 2014
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Tard Boy

A person of any gender or race that acts in such a way that he/she makes everyone in their vicinity reconsider being around them.
Did you see that kid Johnathan trying to show off at that party yesterday? He’s such a tard boy.
by anti-tardboy October 26, 2017
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