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slow worm

1. Someone with both a tendency to be late and yet somehow either inconsequentially or fortuitously so.

They may tend to either get away with it or even dodge the bullet.

They tend to simultaneously be a late worm. The early bird gets the worm. The late worm misses the bird but not the mud, there is always mud. Thus, it is not only better to be early but also to be late.

A slow worm is always late and thus bird proof. A survivor, escaping fate on account of being slow, retarded, delayed, behind, late, etc.

2. Something that is not a worm nor a snake but a fake snake.

It is in fact a lizard that has had its legs ripped off to pass as a snake to hawk on the highly lucrative snake market. Snake is used abroad as a delicacy to make either snake cake which is believed to bestow immense sexual prowess or snake bake which exorcizes unholy spirits inhabiting the left ear canal.

Lizard is only used in traditional medicine to make lizard custard, a purgative of such incredible and excruciating potency that it is rarely desirable out side of a few niche markets such as the Japanese tub porn industry. Supply far exceeds demand and it is of little value.

Sometimes referred to as a trans-snake. Not to be confused with Phalloplasty.
Steve: Holy shit! Did you see the news?
Dave: No, what's up.
Steve: Jack's plane crashed, no one survived.
Dave: Did he die?
Steve: No, he was late, he missed his flight.
Dave: He was always a slow worm.

Steve: Did you see Jack's latest Donkey Porn?
Dave: Yes, it was gross. Looked like a chocolate geyser.
Steve: Looked like a whale blowing sewage out of its blowhole.
Dave: She should submit it to the Guinness Book of Records.
Steve: They probably won't accept it, they'll say they can't rule out doping.
Dave: What do you mean?
Steve: She probably downed a pint of slow worm before the shoot.
Dave: More like chute.
by DeluxeFartJuiceLevelNine January 28, 2023
mugGet the slow wormmug.

slow traveling

A type of travel where a traveler spends a long period of time in one place whereby they grow a stronger sociological and qualitative experience by getting to better know a certain location and its inhabitants. This is opposed to general travel, work travel, or holidaying or vacationing.
I spent ten months slow traveling in and around Granada Spain and I really fell in love with the area and luckily now have lifelong friends because of it.
by Phillip Chandra June 14, 2016
mugGet the slow travelingmug.

Slow curve

A slow curve is when you are being rejected in a slow and deliberate manner.
I been texting this girl and her texts have been getting shorter and shorter. I am on a slow curve bro
by SkizzUnited August 17, 2016
mugGet the Slow curvemug.

southern slow

They ain't too book smart; but they got common sense.
There aint a Yankee alive that can pass off as southern slow.
mugGet the southern slowmug.

slow baked

When someone is leading you on making you mad as hell all along taking their time as if you were an ass in the oven being baked into the bullshit hes about to serve.
He slow baked me, just to keep me from kicking his ass, as I waited for the dish of bullshit he was as bout to serve!
by K1M0T10N March 24, 2016
mugGet the slow bakedmug.

Slow Pitcher

A Poo That Takes Ages To Leave The Anus.
John was on the Toilet for an hour, he was faced by a Slow Pitcher.
by Steve Nichols October 8, 2010
mugGet the Slow Pitchermug.

collective slow

When the flow of traffic is much slower than it should be.
I would've been on time for work if it hadn't been for the collective slow.
by ithamore November 10, 2008
mugGet the collective slowmug.

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