The Croydon steamer

1. Excrete a lovely big soft stool (steamer) into a condom.

2. Place into the freezer (freeze for several hours)

3. Take your now frozen steamer out of the freezer.

4. Get into bed with your hopefully experimental and open minded girlfriend/partner/tramp.

5. Place the frozen steamer into the palm of her hand

6. Make deep and passionate love to her.

7. The aim is to make her have three orgasms before the steamer defrosts and returns to its natural soft state.

The Croydon steamer; To Steam ones croydon, steamathon, steamaholic, steam trek, saving private croydon, living the steam, keep it croydon, steamformers, the ultimate steamer.

by tobyornot August 12, 2009

teamer steamer

to drop fecal matter into a public toilet in sucession by multiple people so that the janitor has to scoop it out by hand because there is so much shit

Because of the teamer steamer, my mom had a fun time using her garden gloves scooping it out.

by Joe Oompaloompa December 9, 2008

Microsoft Steamer

A metaphorical variation on the Cleveland Steamer. It occurs when someone expects something to work, only to see it fail at a critical moment, leaving them feeling like someone has just shit on their face.

Person A: "I'd stay way from Michael right now. He installed Windows 7 last week, and just got a Microsoft steamer when he tried to print out his term paper."

Person B: "Idiot. What did he expect?"

by M. Docherty February 22, 2010

Monkey Steamer

Monkey steamer is a person who pisses you off and you have nothing better to call them. It is used as an insult.

Hey tony, your a monkey steamer. or F*ck you bro your a fat as monkey steamer.

by iacman June 16, 2010

Pickled Steamer

A variation of the "drydock." Start with a standard drydock (shut of toilet water supply, flush water out, leave a big STEAMING turd in the bowl), then piss on it. You are left with a steaming pile of pickled poop.

The hostess at that Christmas party was being a bitch, so I left a Pickled Steamer in her powder room.

by pilreadydog April 30, 2008

Cleveland Steamer

To give someone a Cleveland Steamer the right way you must shit on a womans chest and the shit MUST be steaming. This is much easyer to do when it is cold outside since the shit will come out warm and it will steam.

Jim gave Kristin a Cleveland Steamer.

by Philip Saurman April 17, 2005

British Steamer

The act of defecation into somebody's mouth.

Tucker took off his pants and underwear, squatted over Corey's open mouth and gave him a British Steamer.

It's called a British steamer because the British are known for awful cooking.

by Mustaf Arad Apyur Poupr September 29, 2005