As smooth as braille

When something didn't go the way it should have.

Guy 1. You got a mirror in your ass? because i can see myself in it tonight. Guy 2. That pickup line was as smooth as braille

As smooth as braille by KonradTheFish February 18, 2026

dry as shite

Boring as helll but more fiery adds the FIRE sparkup any and all conversations with this phrase

this is dry as shite

dry as shite by MPJF September 7, 2005

marked as sperm

"Marked as Sperm": a play on "Marked as Spam", commonly seen in message boards and forums. "Marked as Sperm" is used when the message in question is too odious to be adequately described by the relatively mild "Marked as Spam".

A hypothetical example of "marked as sperm" combined with a slightly edited actual comment:

john_balls1011 @dildoilbravishla: FUCK YOU DICKWAD

(Reply) (Mark as sperm) (Ignore)(Report)

marked as sperm by Suzy Clemens April 8, 2010

Hot as snatch 

A term to express excessive heat. The female equivalent to "Hot as balls".

Holy fucking shit is it hot as snatch out today.

Hot as snatch by Skimbo Jackson December 30, 2011

keen as shit

Extremely excited about something. So excited there is an inability to think of any other word at the time so the swear word shit is used.

Hey man want to ride my motorcycle?
Oh my god! Hell yes! I’m keen as shit

keen as shit by Wise plumber February 27, 2018

Plain as salt 

When something is so simple that grandma doesn’t even question it.

I’m getting back with her and swiping that v-card. Plain as salt.

Plain as salt by Dak attak July 9, 2018

dumb as shit 

The person reading this.

You're dumb as shit.

dumb as shit by toeney January 21, 2020