When you suffer an injury, for which you are admitted to the hospital for multiple days. Then you fuck your case worker.
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As you are performing coitus in the doggie position on your lover's birthday (or anytime really) - Step 1. Light a candle and stick it into a cupcake -- Have at ready! Step 2. Slowly and gently bring the cupcake forward towards your partner's view. Step 3. Sweetly whisper 'Happy birthday' in your partner's ear. Step 4. (now this is the tricky part and takes precision timing) As you conclude your birthday whisper, swiftly remove your penis from your partner's vagina and abruptly insert it into the anus and provide one muscular thrust inward (trap ALL that air!). CRITICAL STEP!! - Once she rears back in shock from the surprise birthday entry, strategically position the cupcake WITH lit candle directly in-line of the beehole while simultaneously plungering your schwantz out with great torque, friction, and quickness for the best airy effect (chef's kiss). If done correctly and the timing is just right, this will extinguish the candle's flame all in one assertive, swiveling exit.
Now to Step 5 - At this point, your birthday girl may have thought the surprise was over -- but oh no. Step 5. After the candle has been properly extinguished, bring the cupcake back to your lover's view to make a wish! Step 6. As the wish is being verbally shared, begin to sensually smear the cupcake all over her face while singing 'Happy birthday to you....happy birthday to youuuuu...' ---- She'll never forget it! :)
As you are performing coitus in the doggie position on your lover's birthday (or anytime really) - Step 1. Light a candle and stick it into a cupcake -- Have at ready! Step 2. Slowly and gently bring the cupcake forward towards your partner's view. Step 3. Sweetly whisper 'Happy birthday' in your partner's ear. Step 4. (now this is the tricky part and takes precision timing) As you conclude your birthday whisper, swiftly remove your penis from your partner's vagina and abruptly insert it into the anus and provide one muscular thrust inward (trap ALL that air!). CRITICAL STEP!! - Once she rears back in shock from the surprise birthday entry, strategically position the cupcake WITH lit candle directly in-line of the beehole while simultaneously plungering your schwantz out with great torque, friction, and quickness for the best airy effect (chef's kiss). If done correctly and the timing is just right, this will extinguish the candle's flame all in one assertive, swiveling exit.
Now to Step 5 - At this point, your birthday girl may have thought the surprise was over -- but oh no. Step 5. After the candle has been properly extinguished, bring the cupcake back to your lover's view to make a wish! Step 6. As the wish is being verbally shared, begin to sensually smear the cupcake all over her face while singing 'Happy birthday to you....happy birthday to youuuuu...' ---- She'll never forget it! :)
My special lady, Betty, got the quiverjibbles after I laid a perfect Colorado Birthday surprise on her!
by horsetrough hank November 21, 2024
Get the Colorado Birthday mug.A "Colorado Summer" is an era in a young mans life when he liberals-up and gains maximum rizz because of it. During this phase, his room is an artsy fuckboy temple. Posters of obscure bands, large plants, and LED lights apesr one day. Soon after, he gets an alternative haircut and starts taking edibles like they were prescribed... New-found rizz lands this guy an undeserving amount of bitches. This is due to a positive feedback loop that starts to occur between the rizzing tinder hoes and his involvement in gym bro activity.
"Bro, have you seen Eden's room? He might be having a Colorado Summer right now."
"Fuck it bro, I'm buying another Mt. Joy poster... I'm tryna have a Colorado Summer this year."
"Fuck it bro, I'm buying another Mt. Joy poster... I'm tryna have a Colorado Summer this year."
by Significant_ Seinfeld December 17, 2022
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