Skip to main content

Phone Wanker

Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.
I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!
by JayWon April 21, 2017
mugGet the Phone Wankermug.

rating wanker

Someone who watches TV shows / films solely based on their ratings or someone who has to check the ratings of everything before committing
Joe you have to check the rating of everything, you're such a rating wanker
by Jadeydiddle April 6, 2017
mugGet the rating wankermug.

book wanker

Book wanker -

A person who spunks their pants while presenting lore from books they’ve read (half read) when engaged in conversation with people who talk about a tv show/film they’ve watched that neither asked for nor care about the tedious facts they are being lambasted with.
Me - “In Game of thrones I can’t remember wolf wifey’s name”

Book wanker - “Red hair, Sansa?”

Me - “no, her mum”

Book wanker - “fish wifey?”

Me - “no, Neds wife. The starks. They’re dire wolves no?”

Book wanker - “actually she’s a Tully, their emblem is a fish. I know this because I read the books”

Me - “ you’re a book wanker”
by Ghostraininmofo May 14, 2019
mugGet the book wankermug.

Chino wanker

chino wankers are a individual or a group of LADS aged mid teens to 20 and are obsessed with football , fancy a cheeky nandos , refer to everything that isn't that funny as "banter" or refers to anyone that stimulates their poor humour as a "top LAD" They tend to only drink cider and pretend they're drunk off one can. They make jokes about eachothers mums or make sexist jokes about girls only being good for certain things like the kitchen.

They will wear gazelles , jack wills and holister
"Ooooh that's great banter "

"Ooooh fancy a cheeky nandos "

"Ooooh I fucking love football "
" LADotelli "
" chino wanker "
by Yindyyy November 7, 2015
mugGet the Chino wankermug.

wankers burn

wankers burn is not unlike a chinese burn, it happens when your straight up and down action developes a slight sidewards twist , thus causing surface errosion of the penis , can be treated by using a splint made out of ice lolly sticks and cotton wool dipped in linseed oil and tar , leave on for a couple of weeks and bobs your uncle good as new and ready for the next round, wankers burn support groups are available ,
doc wats the cure for wankers burn , a fat chick with the pox
by jizzcannon1 February 21, 2011
mugGet the wankers burnmug.

willy wanker

people mostly dudes who are obsessed with porn down loads.
That dude many has a fucking million porn down loads. this dudes an obvious willy wanker.
by thomas knight April 22, 2008
mugGet the willy wankermug.

Wanker's arm

When one arm is grotesquely more muscular than the other.
Rafael Nadal has such a Wanker's arm
by Autolab September 28, 2012
mugGet the Wanker's armmug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email