Michael

Michael is literally Hitler

Man Fuck That Michael guy he is literally Hitler

by MickleAFuckinPickle August 5, 2021

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Michael

Always the smart one. People think he’s just annoying. That he’s just an attention seeker. He’s not. You get to know him, you fall for him. Not in love. No. He pulls people down with him. He’s a genius. He truly is. He’s mind is shattered, filled with broken thoughts that he can’t control. He doesn’t love. He sees people as chunks of hydrogen and carbon. He’s the one who doesn’t give a fuck bout his looks. He’s the guy who’s words hurt the most. He says he hates you and the next day he asks you to hang out like nothing happened. Yeah he means the stuff he says as a joke. It’s not funny to you tho. Michael.I wouldn’t wanna have his mind. His problems are not “having a bad hair day, getting bad grades, fighting his parents”. His problems are his thoughts. About the world, society, freedom, and point of life. He’s the guy that will tell you

“Sink. Sink down with society. Sink into your doom. Sink to your death. Sink to your eternity. Forever trying to swim up.”
He’s the narcissist. He’s the crazy one. He’s the only one who understands your pain. And he’s the one you’ll fall for. And you won’t be able to decide if it’s love, pain or pity.

You: you helped me more than my therapist.
Michael: how? I do nothing. I sink people down with me without a plan. And it doesn’t help. It’s purely selfish.

Or

Someone: I don’t recommend getting deep with Michael.

You: But he’s the only one who understands me.

by Janice<3 May 10, 2022

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Get the Michaelmug.

Michael

Someone who is specifically 5’4, has a big dick, and never goes outside.

If you never see him outside, he’s a Michael.

by FalseSketch October 18, 2020

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Michael

He is loyal and brave. He will follow the ones he loves to the very end. He's quiet and collected and doesnt care much about popularity or money yet is often stubborn and blames himself for everything. To him everything is his fault in some way and he may be strong but can be hurt by the few he lets close to him. He is brave in a way no one sees. He fears like all men but is fearless when it comes to helping someone else or protecting the ones he loves.

Is your boyfriend a michael?! Wow you should feel safe!

by Theleft August 1, 2020

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Michael

When you meet a Michael, you will instantly fall in love with him. This is due to the spore cloud produced by Michaels upon meeting a new person. He can be very adorable at times whenever you are upset or just extremely hilarious. This is a ruse. A Michael has a seemingly perfect personality. They are comedic, loving, caring, cute, armed, dangerous, and nearby. They occasionally have personalities. He will hug you when you need one, even maybe kiss you. Again, do not be fooled. This is how Michaels begin the assimilation process. He does everything according to the hive mind and goes with the flow of consciousness that connects all Michaels. Michael will be naturally good at anything, one of the effects of the hive mind. Sometimes you will think to yourself what makes a Michael so perfect? The answer to this question is, as a general rule, not worth the risk. A Michael is ruthless, they'll do anything to further their agenda of world domination. They love to be violent, and will do so at the slightest inconvenience. Overall, Michael is the last person you will ever meet. If something feels wrong, worry. Michael's got you.

Threat level: 9.8/10

Weaknesses: None

Person 1: "hey look it's Michael"

Person 2 (wise): *starts running*

by Rootwalla March 27, 2022

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