Church History

A soul-sucking and pointless course you are forced to take your junior year at Mount de Sales. Taught by an insane Filipino lady, it is designed to make your brain implode before the final exam. Everyone sleeps in the class and no one learns a single thing because the teacher just goes off on monologues for an hour and a half and no one can understand her accent. Then comes the final exam and you're expected to know everything that happened from Jesus' crucifixion to the Diet of Worms. Whatever the fuck that is.

Mom: So what'd you learn in church history today?

Me: Oh, I learned about all the different heresies, protestantism, etc. We've also had about 54385798327549 bad popes.

Sue: Church history is the biggest waste of life.

Me: I do my precalc homework in that class.

Me: So... this Church history exam....

Ellen: Fuck that shit.

by screaminghallelujah6 December 12, 2011

church kink

someone who really wants to have sex or gets off on the idea of having sex in a church

bro i have such a church kink

by herbeveevebbe March 26, 2022

Church Grab

1) When someone makes a sexual advance on another person in a church or other place of worship. 2) A sexual rendezvous at a religious institution.

I gave Susan a church grab about half-way through service, when they asked everyone to greet their neighbors.

by Pteropus February 12, 2021

The Church of Piss

The church in which those who sit around it are mesmerized and are turned in to a transcended form. It is stated that those who come to the church every Tuesday instead of eating tacos are rewarded with a cup of piss in there hand within a chalice. Those who receive it may drink from the chalice and they may see a blessed video of the legend himself known as sodahead 13.

"What are you doing today?"
"I'm going to the church and try and get some piss."
"Oh, the Church of Piss!"

by haha pee pee uh oh stinky poo September 30, 2019

church merch

Free swag you get from your church on Sunday.

Hey Lucy, check out the free St. John’s coffee mugs. That’s some sweet church merch!

by Slump Daddy October 17, 2018

Taylor Church

Taylor Church is an amazing best friend. She would do anything for her friends from looking up there name meaning or just giving them guy advice. Taylor can also be lazy when she wants to but she is always a bad-ass. She is beautiful, and outgoing. She is one of those girls who doesn't fall over every guy who talks to her. She save herself for the right guy(after college of course). She loves her family, even thought they can be a pain. She loves animals and school.

I want to be Taylor Church!

by Tess Collins October 21, 2019

church crazy

When a parent who is usually a normal person turns into a raging angry demon on Sundays. This usually occurs because they care deeply about their image and want their families to appear perfect to other churchgoers.

Damn, mom is screaming at John for forgetting to iron his shirt for church! Looks like she's gone church crazy.

by PlasticCup December 5, 2022