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Coffee Vulture

A person who knows the sound of a coffee maker quite well, though never brews a pot. As soon as a coffee vulture hears the sweet sound of morning ecstasy brewing they immediately drop whatever unimportant task is being poorly done to find the source. Once located, a coffee vulture will then spectate, possibly drooling down its shirt. Whilst waiting awkwardly in a doorway or some other location that obstructs the flow of traffic, a vulture never lets its beady eyes leave the objective. Silently waiting either because watching is as much as its little brain can handle or because it has been labeled a fucking idiot and no one fucking gives a shit what this piece of shit has to say anyways. Upon the coffee maker's completion of its task the vulture waddles over and pours a cup before anyone else. The vulture is first not due to speed, but rather the overall repugnant nature of such a 'person', once the vulture's destination is known that area is then vacated and avoided until it has left. Upon filling its cup the vulture then returns to whatever meaningless task it was doing, periodically returning for more coffee until dry. After which this piece of shit might say, "Looks like we're out of coffee." in hopes that someone more useful than they may make another pot it can wait on.
"Is the coffee done yet?"
"No, the coffee vulture is still in there."
"Damn, I guess I'll just wait."
by Sexy Al Capone August 19, 2014
mugGet the Coffee Vulturemug.

homeless coffee

When you urinate on your feces making a pungent warm liquid, usually filtered through sweaty undergarments.
I could really go for some more of Bob's homeless coffee on this fine Christmas morning.
by Rod Pretzel December 20, 2016
mugGet the homeless coffeemug.

Coffee Filtration

When one sucks off another, then as male is about to ejaculate, he states his predicament to the partner who promptly places a thin layer of material, i.e undergarments, over the penis. At this point, said sucker places mouth around partners penis. The penis holder then spurts his 'sex wee' through material. Sucker then sucks semen through material causing filtration. Pleasure ensues.
1. " .... Amy totally gave coffee filtration to me last night!"
by That camel April 5, 2009
mugGet the Coffee Filtrationmug.

coffee packet

a coffee packet is another saying for tea bag. our teacher, mrs. v, wouldnt let us say tea bag, prolly because she knew what it meant. i didnt think teachers knew about tea bags
the other week i dropped a coffee packet on that bitches face
by stu f. May 3, 2004
mugGet the coffee packetmug.

Coffee Hangover

Coffee Hangover is a stage of disorientation after a long day functioning on coffee when the effect wears off. This usually happens similar to a crash except at it's worst, usually on a long day of getting up early with minimal sleep. The coffee hangover consists of several stages.
1. Slight Irritation. You may become slightly annoyed or bothered. You probably are starting to lose some energy at this point.
2. Loss of Patience. You've lost patience with most things at this point. You just don't care by now and you can't stand being around people.
3. Mood Swing. You may become emotional, sad, or angry depending on your condition.
4. Disorder. By now you can't even walk straight and your words and thoughts don't make sense. You shouldn't attempt to communicate with another human being at this point.
5. Shutdown. At this point you have no energy left and you'll have to lay down. Don't even bother trying to sit up. You may pass out. Nothing but sleep, Acoma, or hibernation can fix this by now
I don't know if this definition makes sense because I'm on a coffee hangover.
by Anti-hater skater June 8, 2015
mugGet the Coffee Hangovermug.

bank coffee

Bad tasting, shitty complementary coffee such as that set out all day for customers at a bank. It often tastes burnt if sitting in a pot or tastes weak or acidic if served from a thermos dispenser. Occasionally somebody will help themselves to a cup, but nobody really enjoys it. Often served in small white styrofoam cups with a large canister of powdered creamer nearby.
“Is there a place to get coffee here?”
“Nah, all they serve here is shitty bank coffee.”
by Dav1d VB May 29, 2018
mugGet the bank coffeemug.

coffee torque

The power and speed generated by one or more coffee stirrers.
Unable to generate any coffee torque with just a single plastic stirrer, I added three more stirrers to the mix.
by sparkus March 3, 2011
mugGet the coffee torquemug.

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