cream cheese

The solution to all computer related problems. All computers are terrified of cream cheese, particularly of having it smothered over their hard drive or around the keyboard. Faced with any problem, the wise computer user will simply reach for their handy container of cream cheese and hold it infront of the screen (where the computer can see it) in a threatening gesture. Terrified, the disobedient computer will quickly cut the crap and start working properly again.

Mischevious Computer: " Error 508D80AN937; the program has performed an illegal operation and needs to shut down." (Translation: Fuck off human, no mere mortal can control me! Muahahaha)

Computer User: "Aaaahhhh! Damnit! Not again! You fucking computer, you've messed with me for the last time! That's it, I'm getting the cream cheese!"

Mischevious Computer: "... ..." *emits sweat

Computer User: "Oh, think you're tough do ya? Take this!" *raises clump of cream cheese in hand

*Computer beeps loudly in a frightened high pitch tone and begins working properly

by Matt89 April 30, 2008

Cream Cheese

A cool freshman that goes to CCA. He may be small but he has big dick energy

Cream Cheese always brings home the bread at cross country meets.

by Hwnsjciwoqjx akwodbs October 10, 2019

Cream Cheese

Freshly groomed piste with ridges resembling spread cream cheese on a bagel

Hey Jack that cream cheese looks fresh and ready to rip up.

by Cream cheese super swag January 21, 2017

cream cheese

Something that is used to spread on your partner's body during sex. Popularized by getting stuck in a girls braces, it was coined by a couple who are mentally retarded.

Girl: I'll get Randall over here and spread cream cheese all over me!
Guy: Oh hell no, thats my job!

by Anjew123 March 29, 2009

Bagel with Cream Cheese

When screwing a bitch that is somewhat chunky, squeeze the area around her belly button into a circle, to resemble the shape of a bagel, then as you cum, spread it with the tip of your dick around the bagel you have created on her torso.

I was fucking that fat bitch Sally last night. The bitch was complaining she was hungry, so I gave her a bagel with cream cheese to hold her over.

by Jersey DMP September 30, 2008

Poon Bagel with Cream Cheese

When a guy fucks a jewish girl then cums all over her pussy.

Jim:Yo what did you have for breakfast?
Kevin: I had a poon bagel with cream cheese and it was poonarific

by King of Poon January 7, 2009

cream cheese dick

Definition to use after you have had sex with a girl that has a yeast infection and still had her cunt cream on. Its what your dick looks like after you are done

Man i nailed that chick last night and didn't know that puss was stank still i saw i had cream cheese dick

by THEBIGO August 11, 2006