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Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem

The sociological rule that one person wearing a fedora in a larger group may be stylistically unique, but two or more people wearing a fedora in a larger group renders every person in that group a douchebag.
Check it out - another fedora. What a douchebag.

No, wait - if it was just that one dude it might be cool, but two of his bros are wearing them too. According to the Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem, all five of them are douchebags.
by CreditToJoe August 19, 2010
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Kalejs Theorem

for one to digress from a topic so far that one no longer is speaking of anything of any relevance to the topic.
The Kalejs Theorem in practice; "Okay class today we are learning about electromagnetic radiation" (Proceeds to talk about volcanoes with the assistance of tools to find relevant videos)
by me is a bomb 6969 May 10, 2021
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Common Sense Theorem

A mathematical and scientific hypothesis that proves any statement true using only the words "Common Sense".
"Given- Equilateral Triangle ABC has an area of 5 a height of 5, and a side length of x.

Prove- Triangle ABC has a perimeter of 3.

Step 1- Perimeter = 3
Reason- Common Sense Theorem"

While the above statement is impossible, the common sense proves it true.
by Nately's Old Man June 2, 2011
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Cage Rage Theorem

The emotional pattern that Nicolas Cage goes through in every movie he's in.

Firstly, Nicolas Cage is in a happy/placid state.

Then, something happens to Nicolas Cage that causes a short stage of confusion. This is key to the next stage.

Finally, Nicolas Cage becomes filled with anger at the confusion he experiences.

Rinse and repeat. In every movie.
KNOWING (2009) A prime example of the 'Cage Rage Theorem'

Nicolas Cage is happy. (Stage one)

Nicolas Cage finds sheet of numbers, becomes confused. (Stage two)

Nicolas Cage throws everything on the floor, in a fit of anger and confusion at the numbers. (Stage 3)
by CharlesBottomer June 25, 2013
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Corollary to the Saniel Theorem

See The Saniel Theorem

Under the Saniel Theorem, there is a 60 percent chance that Saniel will fuck up the shot, or his presence will throw the match, but there is also a 40 Percent chance of huge success.
The Corollary to the Saniel Theorem means that the shot might actually backfire on us.
by ToshBoss January 22, 2020
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Felix’s Theorem

For every nerd or virgin, there is a girl that is a 5 or above that wants to have intercourse with them. This is Felix’s Theorem
“I heard Lisa fucked Jerry last weekend
“What? That kid who comes to school dressed like his league of legends character?”
“Yup. Felix’s Theorem, I guess.”
by Nepho March 28, 2021
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Leonellus theorem

"If you can't say it on Twitter (or X), don't say it."

According to Leonellus' theorem (or X's theorem / Twitter's theorem):

- If you don't think you can say it on Twitter, don't say it.

- If you think you can say it on Twitter, think again.

- If you can say it on Twitter, then all is well.
According to Leonellus theorem :

Case 1 : "Hey man, you're such a society's waste", don't say it.
Case 2 : "I think black people must not live in Europe", think again.
Case 3 : "I love everyone", everything's fine.
by .interieur.gouv.net September 7, 2023
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