Monkey Jesus

Mooooooooonnnnnkaaaaaay jeeeeeesssssuuuuuusssss!! 🎶

“Jesus monkey Christ on a stick!” — When frightened

We made a song but forgot…

Monkey Jesus is used In English when your bored

by Clarius and Darius December 10, 2023

jesus stick

a vape

Hey Bobbie, can I see your Jesus stick for a sec?

by cattle graze April 6, 2019

jesus it

The Sexual Act of physically nailing a partner to a bed through the hands and ankles. Extreme BDSM and extremely kinky. Not recommended for couples in love as the partner could bleed out during sex.

John: "That girl I hooked up with last night is really crazy, she wanted to Jesus it last night"
Dave: "Jesus Christ that's insane"

by onesickmotherfo April 25, 2017

Jesus

Jesus is the kind of guy that would buy a Krispy Kreme, and dip it in ranch dressing just because.

Jesus will be like, "Ayo, gimme sum of that ranch dressing. Imma dip this finger-licking dope ass Krispy Kreme in it, likah boneless wing"

by Mr. Bonewide June 14, 2021

Jesus

Jesus: A misspelling of; Ye Zeus.

How do you think Plato voted?
Ye Zeus.
Oh Jesus! Better call Sparta.

by Goatacolypse September 28, 2024

chunky jesus

If your priest is a fat fuck call him a chunky Jesus

Any fat Jesus worshippers are called chunky Jesus servants

Person 1:yo yo yo look are priest is a fat bitch

Person 2: lol it’s called a chunky Jesus Carl get your facts right

by Yummy nut February 20, 2019

Jesus Lansus

A term that describes, when your really surprised, confused, mad or rattled?

Bernie: Hey Pev, guess what... Skelator is in front of the house!

Pev: Oh my Jesus Lansus

by Darson Bishop May 3, 2011