Jesus Christ

(To the developers: please let this be accepted, as I will explain why God exists and why Christianity is the true religion. I am not trying to offend anyone or impose my beliefs, as I want to share the message and hopefully change people's lives.)(Also, for anyone wondering I mainly used Wikipedia to prove my points but the site doesn't allow hyperlinks so I am sorry but you might have to do some searching. You can search Historical evidence of Jesus, Religious Views on Jesus, Christianity, and Buddhism, Conservation of energy, and Law of Inheritance)

Definition: Jesus is the son in the holy trinity of the Christian religion. He is also god, in the form of man, who died for our sins and offers us eternal life. Jesus is probably one of the world's most popular personalities, and he 100% loves you and wants you to come back to him. A lot of people say Jesus doesn't exist, even though there is historical evidence that he existed and died on the cross. However, the main crux of the problem is that a lot of people don't even believe god exists. This is what this post will do. I will prove both Jesus and God exist.

Also, I have to say that because I surpassed the maximum amount of characters, this is going to be a two-part post, so devs please let them pass as then the post will not be complete.

Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life

by TrynaBeAesthetic+GoodStudent May 11, 2024

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semi-jesus

Some random from an IRC channel. Doesn't realise that this site was so last year :)

by Anonymous July 7, 2003

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Coffee with Jesus

It’s an enema of cold coffee mixed with cocaine that is used before sex in the gay community.

Mike and Sam always have coffee with Jesus on Sunday.

by Mr El Conquistador May 20, 2022

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Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.

Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.

by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022

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