Facebook

All the hip dads use when they’re shit at making friends.

Cool Dad 1: I use Facebook!
No.

by stankycockstudios September 7, 2020

facebook night shift

Facebook night shift is what is completed when someone makes many posts during the nighttime

“OMG have you seen how many FB posts Natalie made after we went to bed?” , “Yes she’ appears to have chronicled our entire night out during her Facebook night shift”

by Big Jack's Bollocks January 23, 2018

Facebook

A disgrace to the name of humanity prejudiced furthering agist hatecrime and safe haven for drugs sale assistance with suicide stolen property human trafficking and penetrative child pornography

Facebook just blocked me again limiting my law enforcement abilities because I hit the wrong button I should shoot someone

by Cody5050 January 28, 2022

Facebook depressed

A bout of depression expierienced after reading facebook posts about how awesome all of your friends lives are in comparison to your own. This usually happens after reading about life changing events like marriage or the birth of a child, reaffirming all your suspicions that you are getting left behind.

Girl 1: aww did you see her new baby on facebook? Thats her third one! Aren't youguys the same age?

Girl 2 :yeah we are, thanks for rubbing it in, like im not already facebook depressed!

by Mylifestinks2020 October 25, 2011

Facebook formal

When you no longer see a person irl but you're still friends on Facebook and might even occasionally interact.

Person 1: "I saw Sarah today, did you go to her babyshower?"
Person 2: "Sarah from high school? No we're Facebook formal, I saw pictures though."

by Pomme de terre December 3, 2020

facebook coaches

Facebook user who uses status updates to criticize or congratulate his/her team each and every play of the game

8:43pm Why in the hell did you run the ball?
8:45pm Good pass! Now get back in there
8:49pm What the hell was the ref thinking? We have to make up 15 yards.
8:56pm Touchdown! Now we just have to go for 2

Football season brings out all of the facebook coaches

by TheLurch September 8, 2013

Facebook Paradox

The paradox you find yourself in when you want to up-vote a social media item that has a sad or negative subject. . You merely want to bring the post to attention of your social network but you question whether someone will misunderstand why you are clicking "like/+1/thumb-up/up-vote/etc"

I struggle with the Facebook Paradox. do I click LIKE to share this news feed item, "'Clumsy the Clown' tragically falls from balcony to his death at children's birthday party." Why isn't there a DISLIKE button? Or a button for MEH?

by Rob G. aka theTexasWolf October 7, 2015