Crocodile Wank

The term used to define the act of male masturbation using tears as lubrication, be they your fresh or previously collected, your own or someone else's.

Nathan was understandably extremely upset when informed that we were running late to meet him. we were later informed that he took himself off for a Crocodile wank in private upon hearing the news, to both ease the pain but also put it to good use.

by Tyamm January 6, 2017

tropical wank

Masturbating, while sitting down in the shower. Spray cold water for a couple of minutes. After that you turn on the heat making the room humid. The key is to close your eyes and imagine you are sitting under a waterfall in Thailand.

Oh shit ! Chris flooded his hotel room again, he must have been having a tropical wank

by Winfield Green June 4, 2017

Dank Wank

Getting really high and then jacking off.

“Bro I had such a good dank wank last night.”
“Dude, nice.”

by SmoothKemosabe December 19, 2020

Sex Wank

Masturbating over sex you have recently had.

"Got some action last night boys!"
"Nice, going to have a sex wank?"
"Already have."

by Knutt November 26, 2009

wanking ears

'Wanking ears' is the expression for the vastly increased sensitivity of one's hearing while they are masturbating. This is a protection system so that no-one will walk in on you while masturbating, which could be an extremely embarrassing experience. Even the slightest footsteps out in the hallway will be picked up by your "wanking ears", and by the time this person comes into the room, should they decide to, you will have had time to close down the pornographic website/video you were watching, and zip up your jeans.

Similar to beer goggles, which is the effect of alcohol on sight, this is the effect of masturbation on auditory awareness.

<Pete> brb, wank
<Dave> isn't your mum in?
<Pete> it's ok, my wanking ears will protect me

by Strach May 16, 2006

wank holiday

A self-imposed period of refraining from masturbation , usually brought on by a combination of guilt and self loathing, and/or wrist cramps, or unexpectedly finding yourself with a girlfriend.

A wank holiday usually only lasts a day at most.

Mike's wrists were starting to ache again, so he decided to go on a wank holiday.

by Ben Dover Of The Yard May 20, 2006

Misery Wank

To wank profusely in a corner, not even wanting to, whilst visualising all your dead relatives looking down on you saying "is this what we lived our lives for ? A grown man wanking like a monkey in a room ? You cry whilst doing this because of the guilty pleasure. A bottle of Gin and tears are the secret ingredient.

I really didn't want to but when i went home after visiting my elderly neighbour, i had a misery wank......i didn't want to though, i promise !!

by Kingbot December 30, 2008