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Uncle Colon

Uncle Colon is a man who has a detachable colon. Legend has it, that if you call his number (I don’t want to give it out for the safety of the reader), he will appear on your doorstep.

If you invite him in, you’re in for a treat. He will proceed to detach his colon, so that it is hanging freely out of his body. Then he’ll smother ketchup all over it. After that he’ll sprinkle some sesame seeds on it. Now, this is where the fun begins. He will force you to suck all of the ketchup and sesame seeds of his colon.

Once you have sucked it clean, he will wind it up and put his colon where it belongs. He will then pack up his ketcup and sesame seeds and leave. Not before thanking you for your service to him, of course. He keeps it very professional and he is always a polite guest. There are no official documentations of Uncle Colon, but I’m a believer.

Only one question remains: Are you a believer?
Person 1: Dang, I’m really craving some sesame seeds and ketchup right now.
Person 2: Dude, you should just call Uncle Colon and he’ll pay a visit. You needs will be more than fulfilled.
by The Crusty December 15, 2017
mugGet the Uncle Colonmug.

Pedo Uncle

When your uncle hands you a dildo and says to shove it up your grandma's ass
My Uncle did a Pedo Uncle at christmas
by Giga N@GGI 2000 October 26, 2022
mugGet the Pedo Unclemug.

English Uncles

When an acquaintance feels the need to appear superior to his peers when discussing any given subject, he fabricates lies to increase his credibility, and appeals to an unseen, familial source such as "My English Uncles", who discovered, invented, or created, the central object of the discussion.

The "English Uncles" often remain unnamed, and separated by large distances, likely on a separate continent, so as to avoid any unpleasant outcomes of an investigation of the claims made by the acquaintance, about the "discoveries" and "inventions" of his "English Uncles".
Douglas-"A Roots supercharger can generate more power through the lower RPM band than a Twin-Screw superchager."

Lumps-"Dude my English Uncles actually engineered the first supercharger so I should know which one generates more power."
by Ironguild May 21, 2011
mugGet the English Unclesmug.

Uncle Jarryding

An event when two or more bro's tie a girls feet together behind her head then roll her down a hill and take bets to see if she lands facing up or down like heads or tails.

Then that determines if u get a bj or take her from behind
_Nicholas:Bro let's have a threesome with my girl
Kyle:Okay let's play uncle jarryding to see who gets the bj or the poophole_
by Avo. May 11, 2020
mugGet the Uncle Jarrydingmug.

uncle vince

Everyone's Sexy Asian uncle, always offers you candy for a free ride in his van. Makes you feel like a real princess.
"hey is that uncle vince?"
"yeah lets get in his van!"
by KoolAidKidForYouToDrink February 28, 2018
mugGet the uncle vincemug.

Uncle Roach

An Uncle Roach is the one of the coolest people you know. Uncle Roach is a rad dude. Contrary to popular belief you don't need to be related to him, typically he is just your dads best friend. Uncle Roach spends his time doing crazy stuff and pulling females.
"Hey uncle roach what you been up to"
"Nothing much young bitch, just beat my boss in a drag race"
"Uncle Roach you're so rad"
by Young Excalibur. June 15, 2019
mugGet the Uncle Roachmug.

Uncle Martha

When something is unclear and can change meaning relative to other concepts
Uncle Martha's mom and pop shop makes the best spanakopita outside of Greece.
by greekfreak01 December 6, 2016
mugGet the Uncle Marthamug.

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