Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction

"No matter where you stand, da breeze will invariably blow either towards you or in your face, causing you great difficulty in proceeding ahead and/or "cleanly"/effectively performing tasks dat involve/include vapors/particulates/liquids." (Think, Murphy's Law of Cigarette Smoke, or trying to bicycle someplace on a blustery day and da stiff wind keeps switching around so dat it's always hinderingly in your face --- never helpfully at your back --- both on your way to your destination AND on your way back home again!)
P.S. Oh yeah --- and don't even **consider** simply postponing outdoor activities till a "still spell" --- DAT will only mean multitudes of mosquitoes and black flies to torment you and make you WISH for a breeze!

Two classic examples of da infuriating effects of Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction would be (1) trying to water your hanging-basket plants on da front porch, but da watering-can's sprinkled droplets keep blowing backwards so dat da water both largely misses your plants and gets you soaking-wet, and (2) trying to employ toss-across collecting when gathering returnables along da highway, but having many of da thrown containers just blow right back onto your side of da road.

by QuacksO August 12, 2019

Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability

"If you have to request assistance/advice from a store/office-employee, you will be obliged to wander all over da place and "search till Doomsday" to find someone who is not presently too occupied to listen to you. Yet once you finally receive your answer, THEN there will be ABSOLUTE MULTITUDES OF PERSONNEL just lounging around and making themselves available, and so you will feel like a total JACKA** for not having simply waited a few more minutes to ask your question, rather than wearing out your feet and legs from running all over da shop to find someone to ask!"

I spent over five minutes scampering up and down the aisles at Wally-World trying to find a "free" employee to ask about the availability of a certain product, but then afterwards, there were several non-busy staffpeople whom I met en-route back to my shopping-cart whom I could have asked just as easily at that point --- talk about a classic case of Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability! :P :P

by QuacksO August 26, 2019

Fox's law

Like godwin's law but pertaining to biscuits - a favourite conversation topic amongst brits on Internet forums - especially once a thread has served its purpose or the original poster has made things awkward, someone (usually sarcastic) will eventually mention biscuits to diffuse and/or derail the thread.

Some squid asked a question on the motorbike forum about cleaning his carburetor - we pointed out that his 2019 lexmoto is electronically injected, he got angry. Next post was a question about whether you should dunk a custard cream or not. Fox's law.

by Geoffbot August 28, 2019

Murphy's Law of Food-Flavor

"The better something tastes and/or the more filling it is, the worse it is for you." (Well, duhhh...!) Similar to when you are given a spoonful of medicinal syrup and it tastes absolutely terrible, and so you figure that it MUST be good for you. (And of course, that may indeed be true sometimes, but I wonder if a lot of times it's merely somewhat of a placebo effect --- your body just hurries up and gets well so that it doesn't hafta stomach the tortures of gagging down any more of that horrid bitter/sour elixir!)

I love rich sumptuous foods like burgers and fries, but my hippie-guru doctor put me on a diet of yucky-tasting bean sprouts and tofu --- talk about a classic case of Murphy's Law of Food-Flavor!

by QuacksO September 5, 2019

Law of Cade R.

A principle which states that when one is fallen ill with a mild cold, one must exit from all regular duties until full recovery.

‘Dude why haven’t I heard from you for 2 weeks, you must be following the Law of Cade R.’

by flexibleglass September 5, 2019

law school

law school can be good if you keep up and are a swift reader, but it's horrible if you don't. you feel horrible like you could get a bad grade because there's a curve system and then kind of explode in tears.

the law school curve grading system makes me unhappy sometimes. when i was in high school, my good friend once told me "i hope everyone gets an A." this made me love and respect her so much, because she was so hard on herself and was valedictorian. now nobody is allowed to think like that, no matter how hard they work, not everyone can get an A in law school. it's devastating because we all came into law school with so much pride in our abilities and our acceptances into a school we love, and that sort of disintegrates with the curve system sometimes.

by The-real-cobra-queen September 7, 2019

Murphy's Law of Gasoline Prices

"You can sit around at home till Doomsday and the prices at the pumps will stay fairly low, incessantly tempting you to travel. But the moment you decide to take off somewhere and head out on your trip, the price for a gallon of gas will go right through the roof!"

Gas-prices seemed fairly "stable" all summer, and so I delayed a road-trip for a while to "save up" or "accumulate" a number of errands so that hopefully my trip would be more cost-effective with regards to gas-consumption, but then when I stopped to fill up my tank in the morning when I was first heading out, the price had suddenly jumped over a quarter higher per gallon! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law of Gasoline Prices" to me!

by QuacksO September 12, 2019