Skip to main content

Tale of Whoa!

A story of compound misfortunes so unlikely that the listener responds with terminal skepticism.
He listened respectfully at first, filled with compassion, tears forming in his eyes as she narrated having been abandoned as an infant, left in a dumpster high in the Sierra-Nevadas, rescued by dumpster-diving circus riders who put her, untethered, on the back of a jumping stallion every night till she was sixteen. Years later, escaping one night off the coast of San Diego she waded into the ocean, hoping to end it all, only to be netted by Tijuana shrimp fishermen who forced her to peel shrimp for years in a rickety boat, the best life she's ever known, before falling overboard in a hurricane and washing ashore in San Francisco at the precise moment an 7.4 earthquake hit. How she got to the Greyhound station in Sparks she was still unclear, and could he spare a hundred bucks to help her find her rightful family, whom, she believed, might at this moment be remorsefully searching for her on the outskirts of Death Valley. By now dry-eyed and stone-hearted, he reached into his wallet for a five, which he slipped into the outer pocket of her spangled handbag and, not looking back, hopped quickly onto his bus while she prattled on with her Tale of Whoa!
by Monkey's Dad July 6, 2021
mugGet the Tale of Whoa!mug.

Tattle tale

Isn't Harry, Duke of Sussex a little tattle tale Margaret? Telling tales about his family is so unseemly don't you think!
by anonymous February 7, 2024
mugGet the Tattle talemug.

Block Tales

Block tales is a game on roblox that is very underrated for how good it is. It s and rpg game that takes heavy inspiration from earthbound and paper mario rpgs.
Block tales is a underrated gem.

If yu play it you are peak and not a gay furry.
by Skimiksi March 4, 2025
mugGet the Block Talesmug.

tales sexual

being sexual attracted to a tales from the valley character
Person 1: Dude I think I'm tales sexual, i want to have sex with Laun!
Person 2: Shut the fuck up spagettirat.
by ChosenRubric Fan November 5, 2021
mugGet the tales sexualmug.

Dead Man Tells No Tales

"Are you okay man?"
*looks over
".............."
"Dead man tells no tales."
by Frankster420 October 7, 2019
mugGet the Dead Man Tells No Talesmug.

The Gardener in Fairy Tales

A woman that loves a married man and is his partner in an affair. Should be ashamed of herself. No morals. Posting love online and clearly isn't what he wants. Fake love. I hope he leaves her for you. And I hope he hurts you in the exact same way he is hurting her now.
Keep being crapping like The Gardener in Fairy Tales. He doesn't love you or his wife. But you should tell her about the afair . Admit it to her like you do to random strangers. so she can find the love she deserves. Scum bag. Fake love. You deserve to be alone. Homewrecker.
mugGet the The Gardener in Fairy Talesmug.

Cautionary tales

A cautionary tale is a story that gives you a warning or a moral lesson but do to social media and relationships it’s another form of giving people trust issues
Mike: Amy… i don’t trust Gina

Amy: why you say that?
Mike: because I saw this Tic Toker talking about this story time about him and his friends girlfriend “going” and it bothered me
Amy: Those are cautionary tales don’t take em to seriously, take caution to it, but not to the point it ruins your relationship.
by Melo2967 January 14, 2025
mugGet the Cautionary talesmug.

Share this definition