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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

When it happens passively, the Universe is picking on you.
When it happens actively, the unfortunate person is fixing their karma.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a cosmic piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a conmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
by TaoistCat October 4, 2020
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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

In most cases when an inordinate number of misfortunes occur seemingly as a 'string of bad luck,' the universe is most likely picking on you.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a Cosmic Piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a Cosmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
Girl 2: God I hate being a Cosmic Piñata! What did I do to deserve this!?
by KenshoMo October 17, 2020
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cosmic jizz

The junk you find primarily on used video game controlers found at yard sales and flea markets
I got a sweet deal on an old nintendo. But it's totally covered in cosmic jizz
by zaksquatch July 22, 2011
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cosmic whirl

A large thingy that never fucking ends in space
The cosmic whirl never fucking ends by the way.
by alcoholic99 November 1, 2023
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Cosmic Brownies

A slang term used to say that you want to eat someone's human waste.
by poopcats267 November 19, 2023
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Cosmic Snatch Brownie

Pop rocks in the pee hole of the dicktus while eating her out. Then making a deposit in the bank of cumvahlha pop rocks then jizzm.
As I entered her cumvahlha I groaned and that's when she knew she had only seconds to enjoy the feeling inside before I turned her into a cosmic snatch brownie.
by Secret Squirrel Squirter December 21, 2023
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Cosmic Kid

A Pet Simulator player who solely relies on the Cosmic Values website for all their trading decisions, often resulting in stupid and uninformed decisions.
Sorry dude, I just had to deal with an annoying cosmic kid, he literally declined an amazing offer just cause his outdated website said it was an L.
by A roblox trader December 24, 2023
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