Skip to main content

wonderwall wanker

A Wonderwall wanker is a person who typically claims to be an Oasis-fan but in reality only knows their one hit: Wonderwall.

A Wonderwall wanker can typically be seen at parties strumming away the same 4 fucking chords because it's the only fucking chords he knows.

A Wonderwall wanker often claims to be musically educated and knowledgable about music history and claims to like a lot of rockbands which he most likely never listened to: Nirvana, Oasis, Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Metallica, etc. but the sad truth is that he only knows hit-songs and probably listens to R&B when he is on his own and doesn't have to pretend to be a rockstar.

They look and dress extremely mainstream because the only reason they make an efford to learn 3 or 4 chords is to get laid. They know that only a select few girls like long hair and leather so they stick to what's in at the moment. Sometimes they can be seen wearing band merchandise but if you ask them about the first album of the band on their shirt they probably won't be able to answer you.
"Can you play a great song?"
"Sure! Let me play Wonderwall again!"

What a wonderwall wanker!
by WinstonBeWise November 20, 2013
mugGet the wonderwall wanker mug.

physics wanker

A dweeb who gets his kicks by playing with 'male' and 'female' plugs in his lab.
He's staying late in the lab again? What a physics wanker. I hope he's got some surge protection.
by Gary LeCanard November 11, 2014
mugGet the physics wanker mug.

Business Wanker

Low tier management, climbing the corporate ladder but just above peon and thinks they're the shit. Dresses in brand head to toe but drives a people carrier. Plays sport with other business wankers. Probably got a wankery name like Rory, Gavin or Gary
Gav is off to play golf with his fellow business wanker friends.
by Aimybot September 17, 2016
mugGet the Business Wanker mug.

Walmart Wanker

A person who faps in a walmart bathroom stall originated from a true story that happened between me and my friend.
Dude : Whats that fapping noise coming from the walmart bathroom stall?

Dude #2 : AH SHIT ITS THE WALMART WANKER!!!
by SRPGShadow August 6, 2016
mugGet the Walmart Wanker mug.

Trump Wanker

A very funny insult that is used only to target the stupid supporters of President Donald Trump. This term derives from the British TV sitcom, The Inbetweeners. It's generally shouted out of a car window while driving past or when walking by them. For extra credit, use the wanking gesture.
So, I saw these Trump supporters marching while on my way to work and I yelled "Trump Wankers!" at them. Got a good laugh out of it.
by jame6sthe6issilent November 17, 2020
mugGet the Trump Wanker mug.

Zone 6 Wanker

People who say they're from London when they're really, really not. Based on the Oyster travel card system where Zones 1-3 are generally recognized as actually being in an urban enviroment as opposed to the fucking boonies way out there in Chesham or Epping or some shit.
Mo: You say you're from London. Whereabouts?

Christopher: Ruislip. It's the last stop on the Central Line.

Mo: ...you are such a massive Zone 6 wanker.
by OMAR_THE_TERROR March 4, 2016
mugGet the Zone 6 Wanker mug.

The Great Australian Wanker

Someone who writes a 2 letter word, such as 'No', on a bit of paper because writing a 3 letter word, such as 'Yes', is just way too hard.
Person 1: Did you vote?

Person 2: Yeah, i voted no. I couldnt be bothered learning about what we were voting for and writing no is way easier than writing yes.

Person 1: You are The Great Australian Wanker.
by Actual Ltd. October 16, 2023
mugGet the The Great Australian Wanker mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email