Jesus

Someone fortnite players needs.

Bruhhh my parents left me imma find jesus.

by Bankwood101 May 25, 2020

Jesus

The real-life equivalent of Shrek

Shrek: *exists*
God: let’s give humans what they want, *calls jesus* “Hey can you turn green?”

by Ey-B0ss December 02, 2019

Jesus

A man that hates gay men

Jesus He hates gays

by lol I'm not mom November 29, 2017

Jesus

Me

I am Jesus!!!

by Jesus_in_spanish April 20, 2018

Jesus

He’s gay and he’s a bitch and has a girlfriend named Bella

Jesus is a butthole

by Ag200610 June 19, 2019

Jesus

A man who will save your ass when you die.

Don't be hate'n on Jesus cause he is going to save your ass one day.

by oconnell 09 September 05, 2006

Jesus

1. The only man more powerful than Batman, Jesus chose to spend his time on Earth trying to convince people to be nice to eachother. After thirty or so years of this, the Roman emperor and some of his buddies got sick of him and nailed him to the cross. Ergo, the second definition:

2. The answer to the question "why me?"

The guy in that WhatIf commercial who dropped his air conditioner on his car: Why me?
God: Jesus, bitch.

Guy with AIDS: Why me?
God: Jesus. Obviously.

Luke: No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!
God: You people shouldn'ta fucked with Jesus.

by The Anonymouse August 22, 2008