Pernicious Assistance

Help provided against the will of the recipient and/or giver
The grocery store bagger, in a fine display of pernicious assistance, quickly jammed my items into the bag, despite my saying "no, thanks" as I paid the cashier. "It's my job, ma'am," said his mouth, as his eyes told me to stop blocking the line.
by Pernicious Assistant November 10, 2021
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Staff Assist

What is called over the intercom when a patient acts extremely unsafe or disruptive at the psych ward and they need extra help to deal with the situation. When the situation is extra dire, a "staff assist with security" may be called.
Roman: "Man, that dude is going absolutely insane. We'd better call for a staff assist!"

Mike: "With security?!"

Roman: "Yes!"
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Staff Assist

What is called over the intercom when a patient acts extremely unsafe or disruptive at the psych ward and they need
extra help to deal with the situation. When the situation is extra dire, a "staff assist with security" may be called.
Roman: "Man, that dude is going absolutely insane. We'd better call for a staff assist!"
Mike: "With security?!"
Roman: "Yes!"
Mike: "Oh no! I'll get the Thorazine then!"
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Eli assist

When playing rocket league, the player gets points for an assist much longer than expected.
"What an Eli assist. That guy still got points a solid 10 seconds after he touched the ball.
by Razosaku November 19, 2023
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Eli Assist

An assist where the pass had little to no affect on if a point was scored, yet still receives an assist.
Teammate scored & still got an assist even though you last touched the ball 10 seconds ago? Call it an Eli Assist.
by Razosaku May 20, 2022
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Eli Assist

When someone is credited an assist even though it has been a significant amount of time has passed when they were last a part of the play.
“Dude, it was 10 seconds since you last touched the ball. How’d you get an assist still?”

“I think that’s one of those ‘Eli assists.’”
by Razosaku May 20, 2022
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Agent's Assistant

A person who can't seem to know their life purpose no matter how many times they try to look at it.
My agent's assistant is dumb. She want's so much money, her ass can't even make a dime without me!
by WhoKares June 13, 2020
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