by Queef Burrito July 29, 2012

Person 1: hey, whatcha got there?
Person 2: a sassy bagel *holds up round pastry*
Person 1: .... that's a donut!
Person 2: a sassy bagel *holds up round pastry*
Person 1: .... that's a donut!
by awkward banjo July 31, 2010

A fat Jewish kid who is addicted to fucking bagels. They are seen very commonly at your local synagogue. Don’t give them cream cheese.
Jacob: Did you see Jeremy in the bathroom? He was fucking a bagel.
Theresa: omfg what a bagel flicker
Theresa: omfg what a bagel flicker
by #1BaglFlckr August 31, 2023

Person 1: Hey, did you know that Luke is a Bagel Virgin
Person 2: What?! Luke has never had a bagel before?!
Person 1: I know! Its crazy right?
Person 2: What?! Luke has never had a bagel before?!
Person 1: I know! Its crazy right?
by Scene_Elf_Boy February 19, 2022

Hey, look over there, I think that guy is getting a bagel pop.
The way that guy was walking made me wonder if he had a bagel pop.
The way that guy was walking made me wonder if he had a bagel pop.
by lash505 September 22, 2007

When you make your girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other a luxurious breakfast, let them take a shit without wiping, and then give them a rim job.
by edgykid June 20, 2019

A man sits next to another man on a park bench - they look around carefully, “Make the call; it’s time to toast the bagels,” the one man says to the other.
by Cyclone B March 9, 2019
