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Twat

A complete idiot who doesn’t know how to do anything
Maggie called me a twat at practice today.
by finwall June 16, 2019
mugGet the Twatmug.

spermicidal twat slurper

A man who goes downtown on a woman without knowing she used spermicide foam beforehand.
"Dude... you're a spermicidal twat slurper, we've all warned you she doesn't like condoms!!!"
by Granny Graves November 29, 2022
mugGet the spermicidal twat slurpermug.

Tommy Twat-Texter

A grown man in a relationship/ marriage sending risky texts to his wife’s best friend who he is also sleeping with.
‘That’s part of the reason we split, Tommy twat-texter’
by PettyPrincess May 1, 2022
mugGet the Tommy Twat-Textermug.

Twat magnet

A place/company/activity that exclusively attracts irredeemable cunts
Josh: Did you hear Marvin is moving to Dubai?
Gavin: I always thought he would. It is a twat magnet after all.

Hugh: Gavin just graduated and got a job at goldman Sachs
Lisa: Typical! I always thought he was a total arsehole. No wonder he's ended up at that twat magnet.
by Twat_disliker April 12, 2023
mugGet the Twat magnetmug.

Twat

The Twat

I once knew a man that was a twat,
He's every thought was that of an imbecile...
He was wholly unjustified in his every word;
When he was in a twatish mood...

Which was exceedingly annoying,
And didn't take anything to start him off...
Save perhaps being content or happy;
You'd think that he was jealous, but this twat was not...

The twat uhh'd and err'd and ahh'd,
Because he was an annoying twat as well...
He passed twatish judgements of events;
And his twat brain got it wrong 100% every time...

He never said please or thank you,
Because he had twat manners too...
And he never gave praise and rarely encouragement;
Because he was an ungrateful twat also...

He preferred the company of fools,
Because they made him look good compared to him...
But only a twat would be so easily pleased;
Like boasting of being a lolly stick stood up in dog shit...

Well; the twat didn't have many friends,
Because.people saw.right through him...
He was fine approximately half of the time;
Which suggests his brain was divided between a twat half and normal...

Quiet why this guy was a twat?
Defies all explanations...
If the best we can do is to just annoy people;
Then that is the most twatish excuse for an existence...
Wot a Twat!
by Smeaglez April 10, 2024
mugGet the Twatmug.

Twat Swat

The act of Garret'ing a situation. Actions taken that limit the amount of exposed breast in the group chat.
Kayci was excitedly anticipating her bribe payment when someone Twat Swatted her heavenly ordained blessing.
by BajanKing February 25, 2019
mugGet the Twat Swatmug.

Twat Cake

He called her a Twat cake because her name was Katie
by king clayton December 31, 2018
mugGet the Twat Cakemug.

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