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sweat wank

When your having to try too hard whilst having a wank and sweat forms across the brow
She glared into his eyes, looked deep into his soul. His cheeks were rosy, sweat across his brow.. caught red handed after a crafty sweat wank
by Ratchet Ho January 14, 2019
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Climate Wanking

When politicians or the elite complain about climate change and how the world is coming to an end, and essentially use it to get votes from people who care or as a crutch for NOT talking about actual problems the world faces.
Keith: Dude, I have been so busy, I have not read anything about the latest G20 Summit, have you been following?

Mike: Ya, it is the same Climate Wanking all the time. I wish they would talk about China running the world economy, or how to get people back to work.

Keith: Ugh, Climate Wanking, such a waste of time. No wonder everyone hates these politicians and condescending celebrities. Talk about real world stuff, bruh.
by Mike109999 November 2, 2021
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Ad wank

A challenge of wanking during an advert break and climaxing before your television programme returns. The ability to do so can vary depending on the content and length of the adverts.
Today, I succeeded with my first ad wank. I'm officially an ad wanker.
by Mottymania May 9, 2019
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Soggy Wank Wad

When you produce a mass of sperm/vaginal juice and wipe it up with a large amount of tissues.
Dude, I exploded and had to make a Soggy Wank Wad.
by gyhmjykgu12 March 20, 2011
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A lonely wank in a Travelodge

You at the end of the day when the gig has finished and all the pretty girls have gone home with their handsome boyfriends to have it off and you're in a cheap Travelodge hotel room all lonely and trying to imagine yourself with those girls by having it off with yourself (masturbating). Sadly, it rarely helps the situation and you end up more depressed than before.
The gig has ended and all the pretty girls have gone home with their boyfriends and I'm here having a lonely wank in a Travelodge. So depressing.
by TheFunnyGuy88 June 30, 2022
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pooey bum wank

When you've just finished pooing and the moment takes you before you wipe
Aaron: I had a pooey bum wank to your wife last night

Jake: Dude! you could've wiped first!
by Freeboy March 10, 2023
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Wank relationship

When you spend more time wanking than actually having sex with your partner.
Joe's in a wank relationship. Man I have more sex than he does and I'm single.
by Redgirlgo May 31, 2016
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