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pooey bum wank

When you've just finished pooing and the moment takes you before you wipe
Aaron: I had a pooey bum wank to your wife last night

Jake: Dude! you could've wiped first!
by Freeboy March 10, 2023
mugGet the pooey bum wankmug.

Complicated Wank

While juggling 9 cats and eating Doritos? That’s a complicated wank!
by Dudeknowsstuff July 30, 2021
mugGet the Complicated Wankmug.

tranq wank

The “Tranq (short for tranquilliser) Wank”.

The wank you execute to help yourself fall asleep at night. More functional than enjoyable!
Am shattered but with so much on my mind, I’m worried I may not drop off…. Definitely going to have a quick fire tranq wank
by Beggzie007 January 31, 2024
mugGet the tranq wankmug.

a nigel suicide speed wank

when your having a wank just before blowing your mayonnaise load, shout out Mum!!!!(diseased and rotting). bring my dinner up please, then try and finish the job before she gets into your room
by mrs tosser October 19, 2025
mugGet the a nigel suicide speed wankmug.

Climate Wanking

When politicians or the elite complain about climate change and how the world is coming to an end, and essentially use it to get votes from people who care or as a crutch for NOT talking about actual problems the world faces.
Keith: Dude, I have been so busy, I have not read anything about the latest G20 Summit, have you been following?

Mike: Ya, it is the same Climate Wanking all the time. I wish they would talk about China running the world economy, or how to get people back to work.

Keith: Ugh, Climate Wanking, such a waste of time. No wonder everyone hates these politicians and condescending celebrities. Talk about real world stuff, bruh.
by Mike109999 November 2, 2021
mugGet the Climate Wankingmug.

Wank relationship

When you spend more time wanking than actually having sex with your partner.
Joe's in a wank relationship. Man I have more sex than he does and I'm single.
by Redgirlgo May 31, 2016
mugGet the Wank relationshipmug.

Wank Holiday

To bunk of work unauthorised so that you can lie in bed all day jerking off to Anime porn.
Employee: Good day
Boss: Oy, I know you had a wank holiday yesterday!
by LordJenal August 28, 2022
mugGet the Wank Holidaymug.

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