Whale wank

Whilst sat in the bath, with your collection of named whale toys you pick I winner and stare it in the eyes as you tug your tiny little pecker

Matty was having a whale wank and realised he should stop being such a virgin

by Cbesty91 December 27, 2018

wank theatrics

The images played out in your "wank bank" as you proceed to knock one out

Imaginative stimulation when there is no pornographic material to hand

( 2 very attractive ladies walk by) .... Those 2 hotties will be lezzing off in my wank theatrics tonight

by Mr blue March 11, 2016

wank mittens

The proper term for noncey boxing gloves.

Look at that ponce lace up his wank mittens.

by Loafingwafu October 17, 2017

wank cycles

When you tactically bat one out so that you'll last longer should you be lucky enough to get some action later on.

Josephina: Wow, honey! You lasted much longer than your standard 45 seconds tonight.

Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.

by Handsome_Cat April 19, 2022

Wank-Toss

A word used to show the emotion of "I 100% cannot be fucked with this!"

Josh: " Say Tom, isn't that your girlfriend kissing that guy with one leg? "

Tom " Wank-Toss "

by Simpsy April 16, 2008

Spidey Wank

Wank off the male until they cum and catch as much cum as you can in your hands. State your spidey senses are tingling and fling your arms out in spiderman fashion so impressive "webs" of spunk fling outwards.

I hit his TV and dining table with my Spidey Wank

by LauraLou80 August 3, 2022

rank wank

wanking to material you would usually find to be 'rank', or disgusting, but still managing to finish

Friend 1: I watched a porno last night where a pregnant chick was getting fucked anally against a brick wall, and then she went into labour.
Friend 2: Wow, that sounds disgusting.
Friend 1: Yeah, it was a pretty rank wank.

by kingbiscuit December 25, 2012