armenian massage

When you go to get a massage and receive the unfortunate news that your masseuse is Armenian. Shortly after, a very large and domineering woman, usually named Hilda or Helga, walks in and places her greasy hands on the top of your back. She proceeds to massage you, but you cannot help but feel a third thing massaging you, so you look to only see her big floppy cock out, and it is actually massaging your ass. To not be viewed as homosexual, you tell her to get the fuck off and she proceeds to beat your ass and for the next two years your friends give you shit for getting your ass kicked by a girl.

Person #1: Man I heard you got an armenian massage.

Person #2: Yeah it fucking ruined my life.

Pape: Haha jerk. That sucks for you. Man my Porsche-a is so much better than your car.

Person #2: Hey Pape go suck a dick. And by the way, its Porsche and yours is broken.

by The Flying Dutchman! Yee! November 3, 2006

Brazilian Massage

When a woman uses her butt-cheeks to massage a man's dick up and down; similar to a 'titty-fuck.'

She gave me a Brazilian massage before putting it it. It was hot.

by Anonym9 September 23, 2012

Puja massage

Massage of old world, far-eastern descent strongly implied to culminate in a for-profit (although not found on any invoice/receipt) "happy-ending."

I'm going to "that" parlor afterwork for a puja massage.

"Puja lounge" (as in a parlor)
"She's a puja" (as in massuese)
"On your right, Puja." (as in hotties)

by Andy808 December 27, 2007

massage slut

When a male goes around giving shoulder massage's to all females claiming to be friendly but in reality is just being creepy and believes they enjoy it.

Guy 1: Hey dude, see that guy over there.
Guy 2: Yea, he's massaging all those girls shoulders.
Guy 1: Yea what a massage slut.

by CptMeep January 6, 2016

Carpet Massage

When a man uses his hand(s) to please a woman.

Instead of a carpet munching tonight how about just a carpet massage?

A carpet massage a day keeps the bitch away

If you're not ski poling you're carpet massaging

by ldylumps October 19, 2012

Velvet massage

Is the the place where a person can receive great sensual massage. Provided by best therapists in London this is the best luxury experience

Let's relax and get Velvet Massage

by Velvet Massage April 12, 2016

Snow Massage

A snow massage is two handfuls of snow down the front and back of the victims jumper then massaged in vigorously !

John hit me with a snowball so when I caught him I gave him a good old snow massage !

by snowdemon3 December 20, 2010