voice massage

1. Service offered at lesser cost by happy end massage parlours. It involves not laying a finger on the client but giving him instructions (vocally) about how to massage himself. Particularly in Helsinki, Finland.

2. Massage of the throat whilst singing a tune.

Mister no want happy end? Mister want voice massage?

by Megapussi December 19, 2008

armenian massage

When you go to get a massage and receive the unfortunate news that your masseuse is Armenian. Shortly after, a very large and domineering woman, usually named Hilda or Helga, walks in and places her greasy hands on the top of your back. She proceeds to massage you, but you cannot help but feel a third thing massaging you, so you look to only see her big floppy cock out, and it is actually massaging your ass. To not be viewed as homosexual, you tell her to get the fuck off and she proceeds to beat your ass and for the next two years your friends give you shit for getting your ass kicked by a girl.

Person #1: Man I heard you got an armenian massage.

Person #2: Yeah it fucking ruined my life.

Pape: Haha jerk. That sucks for you. Man my Porsche-a is so much better than your car.

Person #2: Hey Pape go suck a dick. And by the way, its Porsche and yours is broken.

by The Flying Dutchman! Yee! November 3, 2006

Brazilian Massage

When a woman uses her butt-cheeks to massage a man's dick up and down; similar to a 'titty-fuck.'

She gave me a Brazilian massage before putting it it. It was hot.

by Anonym9 September 23, 2012

Puja massage

Massage of old world, far-eastern descent strongly implied to culminate in a for-profit (although not found on any invoice/receipt) "happy-ending."

I'm going to "that" parlor afterwork for a puja massage.

"Puja lounge" (as in a parlor)
"She's a puja" (as in massuese)
"On your right, Puja." (as in hotties)

by Andy808 December 27, 2007

tragedy massage

a massage without happy ending - sometimes you just want that but not much options at 5 am in the morning...

Tired and sore after getting out of work around 5am.
See a bright sign flashing "MASSAGE".
I pull up and inquire within....
Madame: Hello, you want massage?
Me: Yes.
Madame: $100 okay?
Me: Uhhh... How much for just a massage? Like, only a massage? I don't need anything else.
Madame: Only massage?
Me: Yes. I want a tragedy massage.
Madame: A what?
Me: A massage without a happy ending.
Madame: No happy ending.
Me: Correct. Can I have just a massage? Nothing else. No happy ending.
Madame: ....... No.

(credit: CH)

by pseuDonym_name_001 May 19, 2015

Carpet Massage

When a man uses his hand(s) to please a woman.

Instead of a carpet munching tonight how about just a carpet massage?

A carpet massage a day keeps the bitch away

If you're not ski poling you're carpet massaging

by ldylumps October 19, 2012

massage slut

When a male goes around giving shoulder massage's to all females claiming to be friendly but in reality is just being creepy and believes they enjoy it.

Guy 1: Hey dude, see that guy over there.
Guy 2: Yea, he's massaging all those girls shoulders.
Guy 1: Yea what a massage slut.

by CptMeep January 6, 2016