Kettle on

Although antiquated, to 'put the kettle on' is to say that the conversation will continue because of some new deep or entertaining news has been revealed and needs discussing, usually this involves actually making a new cup of tea (giving time to savour the space before gossip) but...

'Kettle on!' has no intention of actually making tea and can be said anywhere, it's like saying 'oh fuck me, this is news' or 'you have my undivided attention', 'I need to know everything'

Carl: stace was down the pub with len last night, but he's supposed to be legit with shanice
DAZ: kettle on!

Carl: well, after prison he....

by My real name is nick April 4, 2021

Boiling kettle

The moment that the water inside of a kettle reaches 100°C In word form (Boiling)

The kettle is boiling like a boiling kettle

by Jefferson 27323272323273323 23 April 22, 2021

Dinging the Kettle

The act of engaging in aggressive sexual intercourse with someone wearing lots of jewelry. The term refers to the sound made in committing the act being similar to that of a dinging kettle.

What's that noise?
Oh that's Jim in the other room dinging the kettle with Stacy.

by UglyUseless June 23, 2021

mississippi soup kettle

When you take a shit and use the shit water as lube to jerk off

I sat on the toilet for so long I decided to give myself a mississippi soup kettle

by Brickhouse11 October 16, 2020

kettlebell vs. kettle-cooked

Refers to all da weight-lifting exercise dat you'll hafta perform if you habitually chow down on chips and other fattening crap.

As a total chips-'n'-donuts junkie, Homer Simpson could conceivably be viewed as a prime "kettlebell vs. kettle-cooked" candidate, although I would seriously question whether his ponderous flabby bulk and squishy muscles could ever even begin to perform any strenuous exercise regimen!

by QuacksO April 28, 2022

Trevor Kettle

Describes someone who is incompetent. In fact, 'incompetent' is being too kind - they are shite. Completely shite. So shite that the decisions they make do little else than inflict unhappiness and induce rage.

A shit stain on the adult diaper of life.

They are a bit of a Trevor Kettle; c*nt!

by Every football fan ever! January 30, 2019

Kettle Meat

Pot roast. Or when a Viking shits in a pot, simmers his nuts in it for 2 hours and plunders some ass immediately after.

The kona got kettle meat for supper and pleaded for a top up this morn

by Dank Diggler December 27, 2023