The historical group known as the Bavarian “Illuminati” was a secret society founded on May 1st, 1776, in the Electorate of Bavaria. The society had stated goals including the opposition of religious and superstitious influences on public life, and fighting abuses of state power. Alongside Freemasonry, they were later outlawed in Bavaria by edict. Since then, the term is used to reference many groups that claim either direct or indirect lineage from the original Illuminati, as well as Freemasons and other groups under that umbrella.
Read the following to the tune of the chorus of “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran:
I know a place that’s new,
Where reptilians butt-fuck Jews,
Alex Jones is up in there too,
It’s the Illuminati,
Last night they were snorting glue,
Until their faces turned bright blue,
I think I saw David Icke up in there too,
It’s the Illuminati,
Ooieooieooieooie,
It’s the Illuminati,
Ooieooieooieooie,
It’s the Illuminati,
Ooieooieooieooie,
It’s the Illuminati,
Everyday cooking up something brand new,
And now they’re gonna target you!
I know a place that’s new,
Where reptilians butt-fuck Jews,
Alex Jones is up in there too,
It’s the Illuminati,
Last night they were snorting glue,
Until their faces turned bright blue,
I think I saw David Icke up in there too,
It’s the Illuminati,
Ooieooieooieooie,
It’s the Illuminati,
Ooieooieooieooie,
It’s the Illuminati,
Ooieooieooieooie,
It’s the Illuminati,
Everyday cooking up something brand new,
And now they’re gonna target you!
by Musty Musk Man March 30, 2025
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