report card day 

If you're a student like me (Makes horrible test grades but actually does your homework and somewhat cares) then you probably dread this day. If you're a student like my older sister(Studies hard never misses a homework assingment aces all the tests and on the teachers good side) then you probably love this day. This is the day when asian parents yell at their kids for getting an A-. This is the day white kids get sympathy for making a C. This is also the day that black kids get their asses whooped for bringing home a D+. If by chance your report card satisfies your parent then you can expect some money or a trip to your favorite restaurant.

Asian kid: Mom... heres my report card
Asian Mom: An A-!!!! You have got to do better!!

White Kid:Oh crap its report card day! Here it is...
White parent: Aww you got a C in History. Try to do better next time honey.

Black kid: Mom before I show you my report card promise me you won't go crazy... AHHHHHH!!!!! MOMMA NO!!!!

report card day by childplz March 27, 2011

pretzel day 

is on April 26th (aka National Pretzel Day)
joked about on "The Office" (Season 3 Episode 5) and is Stanley Hudson's favorite day out of the 365 days of the year

"I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, driving my daughter too a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work for a job for which pays too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well I like Pretzel Day." - Leslie Baker as Stanley Hudson on The Office

pretzel day by Buksi82 May 24, 2016

rad hair day

When you wake up and your hair is just plain awesome, all on its own, for no particular reason. No matter how much it rains, you sweat, or you get punched in the face, your hair remains rad until the end of the allocated 24 hour period.

Dude I'm totally having a rad hair day. We just experienced a Jumanji-level stampede and I still look like David Hasselhoff.

rad hair day by Beardcore August 11, 2010

Dab Pen Day 

Held on May 10 as a nod to the most common dab pen size, (5:10) get as high as you can off dab pens on dab pen day!

Hey man, we should hit up the dispensary, dab pen day is coming up soon.

Dab Pen Day by Mesmer March 3, 2021

Single Awareness Day

otherwise known as Valentine's Day, when people celebrate their love for each other. Occurring on the 14th of February, this day reminds those who do not have a Valentine of their singleness. Contrary to popular belief, this holiday celebrates not only romantic love, but also love between family and friends. Please remember your single friends on Valentine's Day! (you assholes.)

"Happy Single Awareness Day."

Single Awareness Day by misosoupaddict September 15, 2006

valentine's day 

Probably the lamest holiday known to man. Just a ridiculous waste of time. I would celebrate groundhog's day way before this lame ass day. It is for wimpy puppy dog types that are about to get their lives ruined by an evil snatch.

I wish the women would shut up about valentine's day and get their asses back to work.

valentine's day by running out of patience February 14, 2008

Hug your Crush Day 

[Hugging Your CRUSH DAY)

Today is HUG YOUR CRUSH DAY!
Me:Can i hug u?
My Crush:Why?
Me:Bc its October 24 its HUG YOUR CRUSH DAY!
My Crush:Then i’ll hug u

Hug your Crush Day by justin trudeau is my dad October 23, 2019