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Squidwards Suicide

A lost episode of SpongeBob where Squidward dies. The episode starts with Squidward practicing the clarinet. Then SpongeBob and Patrick are playing outside and Squidward tells them to stop. Then he practices again but it's a choking noise instead of a clarinet being played. The next shot is Squidward at the concert. He plays the clarinet badly and the crowd is booing with hyper blood realistic eyes. The next scene is Squidward in a black background but Squidward is crying, then cry's blood, then shows the blood eyes from before. The next scene is Squidward in his bed with a gun. He shoots himself and DIES....
Guy 1: Have you seen Squidwards Suicide?
Guy 2: yes and it scarred me for life.
by amoguslove42069 March 19, 2023
mugGet the Squidwards Suicidemug.

Angry Squidward

When you're performing oral sex on a male- and you bite down on the shaft, punch the recipient in the testicles, and insert a clarinet into their anus
"my date with Joanie ended in disaster. I thought everything was going great until we went back to my place and she gave me the Angry Squidward. I had to go to the hospital to get the clarinet removed"
by Clit commander. December 12, 2024
mugGet the Angry Squidwardmug.

Squidward

mean ass squid that hates his neighbors Sponge Bob and Patrick. Squidward also sucks at clarinet and it's the most horrible sound you will ever hear.
Squidward likes to succ john thicc
by Succ_2o87_Times March 22, 2019
mugGet the Squidwardmug.

Squidwarding

To tuck your nuts between your cheeks and lay your shaft down a sleeping person's nose
Bro I was squidwarding on Brad and took a pic!
by Jesus003 July 16, 2025
mugGet the Squidwardingmug.

Hey Squidward shut the fuck up

I don't know what your problem is, man. I have 30 minutes for lunch and I'm spending them here, alright? There's no one behind me in line; so what if I took an extra 10 seconds to order. Who cares, man. You really are something else, you know that? Y-you lash out at people, and why? Because you hate your job? News flash, ASSHOLE. Everyone hates their job. I work at the grocery store; I have to deal with bullshit all the time too. But I don't act like a sarcastic prick with customers. You know, Squidward, this town does not like you, and it's not because you're some kind of misunderstood artist, or-or genius, or we just don't get you, it's because you're mean. Alright? Look at Spongebob. He works in front of a hot grill all day, but we all like him, and you know why? Because he's NICE. He says HELLO to us. Look man, I don't wanna be this type of customer, you know, I-I don't like to start fights with folks, but like, y-you can't do that, alright? And I'm not gonna call out Mr. Krabs or anything, I-I just wanna get my food and go. Please learn from this. Alright? Thank you.
What can I get you TODAY sir?
Hey Squidward shut the fuck up.
by This guy man... March 21, 2025
mugGet the Hey Squidward shut the fuck upmug.

Squidward Wins

A brutal deconstruction fanfiction where Squidward Tentacles finally gets the amazing life that he's always dreamed of by getting sweet revenge on the people who make every day of his life a living hell.
"Squidward Wins" is a favorite of many Squidward fans.
by Ubeenbamboozledson November 23, 2021
mugGet the Squidward Winsmug.

Handsome Squidward

Repeatedly slamming your girls head into a door till there’s a hole in her face big enough to fuck and then when your done you take a picture and post it online to see how handsome they are.
“Bro my girl pissed me off so I gave her a handsome squidward.”
“Show me the pics dude”
by Forbe August 6, 2024
mugGet the Handsome Squidwardmug.

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