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Im litterally gonna kms i hate myself so much and i just want it to all end, anyways im secretly adolf hitler 

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how i feel every day
person one: Im litterally gonna kms i hate myself so much and i just want it to all end, anyways im secretly adolf hitler

person two: wait your secretly who?
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My dick is gonna be the last thing you see before I fuck your eyes out. 

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A terrifying threat, don’t
“My dick is gonna be the last thing you see before I fuck your eyes out.”

“Dude what the fuck”
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If you're gonna be a cunt, sometimes you're gonna get fucked

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if you behave like an arsehole, the universe might return the favour.
Person 1:
"Did you hear what happened to my sister at the grocery store?"

Person 2:
"No?"

Person 1:
"She parked across the disabled bays again. Shit had been smeared over her windscreen."

Person 2:
"Well… if you're gonna be a cunt, sometimes you're gonna get fucked."
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