When a man attempts to get a girlfriend (or boyfriend) by first being their friend, then hoping to transition that to being their boyfriend. After they've been their friend for a while with no sexual tension being built up, he asks her out, with her saying something along the lines of "I don't think of you that way and I don't want to jeopardize what we have."
The people who've experienced this are almost-exclusively men who don't have many social skills, especially with romance. Many of them have had few (if any) sexual partners, very little self-esteem, not much confidence, a lot of anxiety, and possibly some minor depression (if not severe), which is WHY they have so few social skills.
It's only made worse by the fact that a LOT of women who say "a guy said I friend-zoned him" don't really try to HELP him. Saying you're not interested is one thing, but GENUINELY trying to understand why he's so hurt by that and figuring out ways to help him get a girlfriend is another.
The unspoken aspect of this is that this usually occurs when a modest-looking man tries to attract a more-attractive woman using their personality, since they wouldn't be able to if they just used their looks.
To be fair, women DO put higher importance on personality than men do, and it usually DOES overpower looks in importance, so there's nothing wrong with a guy trying to get a more-attractive woman using his personality, but application of that is very complex.
The people who've experienced this are almost-exclusively men who don't have many social skills, especially with romance. Many of them have had few (if any) sexual partners, very little self-esteem, not much confidence, a lot of anxiety, and possibly some minor depression (if not severe), which is WHY they have so few social skills.
It's only made worse by the fact that a LOT of women who say "a guy said I friend-zoned him" don't really try to HELP him. Saying you're not interested is one thing, but GENUINELY trying to understand why he's so hurt by that and figuring out ways to help him get a girlfriend is another.
The unspoken aspect of this is that this usually occurs when a modest-looking man tries to attract a more-attractive woman using their personality, since they wouldn't be able to if they just used their looks.
To be fair, women DO put higher importance on personality than men do, and it usually DOES overpower looks in importance, so there's nothing wrong with a guy trying to get a more-attractive woman using his personality, but application of that is very complex.
Joshua: "Is that *band shirt/book/food/anything like that*? *Band/book/food/whatever's being referenced* is amazing! I love *band/book/food/etc.*!"
Emmi: "I know, right? You're the first person I've seen get so animated about it!"
***Joshua hasn't said anything that would make Emmi think he finds her attractive-- like being specific about something he likes about her face or body or saying how cute she is in a clever way, or even saying outright that she's sexy-- and hasn't for months.***
Joshua: "So, Ems... I know you've been talking a lot about how lonely you've been over the last few months and how bored you are on the weekends now cuz' you've got nothing to do, so would you like to go on a date with me this Saturday?"
Emmi: "Oooh... Wow... Josh, look, I love you and your one of my besties, and I mean we have so much in common, but I just... I really don't think I can do that. I'm sorry. I don't think that would be a good idea."
Joshua: "... Did you just fucking friend zone me?"
Emmi: "I know, right? You're the first person I've seen get so animated about it!"
***Joshua hasn't said anything that would make Emmi think he finds her attractive-- like being specific about something he likes about her face or body or saying how cute she is in a clever way, or even saying outright that she's sexy-- and hasn't for months.***
Joshua: "So, Ems... I know you've been talking a lot about how lonely you've been over the last few months and how bored you are on the weekends now cuz' you've got nothing to do, so would you like to go on a date with me this Saturday?"
Emmi: "Oooh... Wow... Josh, look, I love you and your one of my besties, and I mean we have so much in common, but I just... I really don't think I can do that. I'm sorry. I don't think that would be a good idea."
Joshua: "... Did you just fucking friend zone me?"
by 681681 August 19, 2017
Get the Friend Zonemug. Boy 1: happy birthday! So I know you like me but I think we should just be friends (friend zone)
Girl 1: oh okay that’s cool
Girl 1: *walks away heartbroken*
Girl 1: oh okay that’s cool
Girl 1: *walks away heartbroken*
by Guess who bihhh December 4, 2018
Get the Friend zonemug. The ultimate friend zone level and one of no return, akin to level 100m on the Original Donkey Kong or level 256 on Pac-Man.
The party in question is often so far in they do not realize they are in the midst of the friend-zone status.
The party in question is often so far in they do not realize they are in the midst of the friend-zone status.
1) A guy gets sent a naked picture from a girl who asks him to "make sure she looks alright before she sends it to another guy". He assumes this to be a ruse, that she actually wants his dick. This assumption is false, he is in fact in the nick level friend-zone.
2) There are two guys and a girl drinking in town. Guy 1 thinks he will take the girl home at the end of the night and does not understand why Guy 2 is hanging around so late. This is made clear when it is Guy 2 who takes the girl home, Guy 1 is nick level friend-zoned.
2) There are two guys and a girl drinking in town. Guy 1 thinks he will take the girl home at the end of the night and does not understand why Guy 2 is hanging around so late. This is made clear when it is Guy 2 who takes the girl home, Guy 1 is nick level friend-zoned.
by sharkacon April 25, 2014
Get the Nick Level Friend-Zonedmug. When a man pretends to befriend a woman with fake good intentions and the woman reciprocates with true friendship only to be gaslighted by the man that she should have known he feels entitled to sex with her from the start.
A made-up condition by men who lie to try to get what they want.
A made-up condition by men who lie to try to get what they want.
Decent person: Kyle totally friend-zoned Kyra but made her think it was her fault.
Rational person: Typical Kyle.
Rational person: Typical Kyle.
by DanceDance22 November 15, 2022
Get the friend-zonedmug. When the person from the opposite (or same) sex rejects you're proposol of getting into a relationship with them, but still wants to be friends with you, most people hate being friendzoned, because THEY THINK the person they want to get into a relationship with will probably choose a good for nothing man/woman over them, don't think like this, the person who friendzoned you probably won't go in a relationship with you is probably not because the like somebody else, maybe they are asexual, or can't date you because they're parents forbid it, just because someone doesn't want to date you, doesn't mean that they like someone else, and a lot of people forget.
Good example of dealing with a friend zone:
Kyle: Hi Sarah, i have meaning to tell you this, but i had a crush on you since elementary school, and being friends for so long, i wanna tell you that i love you and i wanna get into a relationship with you.
Sarah: wow Kyle, i never thought you liked me like that, but i'm not ready for a relationship, but i still want to be friends!
Kyle: that's ok, even if you don't feel the same way, i don't wanna make a big fuss about it, i really don't want this friendship to end, come, let's go get some ice cream.
Bad example of dealing with a friend zone:
Kyle: Hi Sarah, i have meaning to tell you this, but i had a crush on you since elementary school, and being friends for so long, i wanna tell you that i love you and i wanna get into a relationship with you.
Sarah: wow Kyle, i never thought you liked me like that, but i'm not ready for a relationship, but i still want to be friends!
Kyle: Wow, really? You are just going to reject me like that, with everything i have done for you?
Sarah: What?
Kyle: i have been such a nice guy to you for all these years, yet i can't be you're boyfriend? I bet you're gonna get heartbroken by some manipulative asshole while you couldv'e gotten with a nice guy like me.
Sarah: i'm sorry, what?!
Kyle: you girls never go for the nice guys like me, fuck you.
Kyle: Hi Sarah, i have meaning to tell you this, but i had a crush on you since elementary school, and being friends for so long, i wanna tell you that i love you and i wanna get into a relationship with you.
Sarah: wow Kyle, i never thought you liked me like that, but i'm not ready for a relationship, but i still want to be friends!
Kyle: that's ok, even if you don't feel the same way, i don't wanna make a big fuss about it, i really don't want this friendship to end, come, let's go get some ice cream.
Bad example of dealing with a friend zone:
Kyle: Hi Sarah, i have meaning to tell you this, but i had a crush on you since elementary school, and being friends for so long, i wanna tell you that i love you and i wanna get into a relationship with you.
Sarah: wow Kyle, i never thought you liked me like that, but i'm not ready for a relationship, but i still want to be friends!
Kyle: Wow, really? You are just going to reject me like that, with everything i have done for you?
Sarah: What?
Kyle: i have been such a nice guy to you for all these years, yet i can't be you're boyfriend? I bet you're gonna get heartbroken by some manipulative asshole while you couldv'e gotten with a nice guy like me.
Sarah: i'm sorry, what?!
Kyle: you girls never go for the nice guys like me, fuck you.
by Yeetman42069 May 31, 2019
Get the Friend zonemug. by Adolf rizzler February 1, 2024
Get the Friend Zonemug. A term used by women when they reject your romantic advancements. Both men and women can find themselves "friendzoned" due to the fact they did not make their original intentions known. Men and women can strictly be friends only under certain circumstances; ie: no attraction, childhood friends, both are in a relationship, etc. People that find themselves in the Friend Zone only have themselves to blame, make your intentions known at the very beginning or the other person will think you are only interested in a platonic friendship. Being the nice guy and never making a move will never work, and will always reserve yourself a comfortable purple loveless sofa in the Friend Zone.
From personal experience, being friends first does not work! Do not confuse being friends with being friendly! Let me clarify further, obviously if you treat the person like total utter crap and they have self worth they will not date you. If you treat the person like a sibling then they will immediately Friend Zone you to oblivion and beyond. Make your romantic intentions known as early as possible!
I will use an example of how I got friendzoned and handled the situation, NEVER put yourself in this situation in the first place! It's a horrible place to be in!
From personal experience, being friends first does not work! Do not confuse being friends with being friendly! Let me clarify further, obviously if you treat the person like total utter crap and they have self worth they will not date you. If you treat the person like a sibling then they will immediately Friend Zone you to oblivion and beyond. Make your romantic intentions known as early as possible!
I will use an example of how I got friendzoned and handled the situation, NEVER put yourself in this situation in the first place! It's a horrible place to be in!
Chris: I want to be more than friends
Katie: If you told me this months ago, it would have been different. But I only see you as a friend
Chris: Fuck the Friend Zone
Chris: Get back to me once you change your mind
Katie: If you told me this months ago, it would have been different. But I only see you as a friend
Chris: Fuck the Friend Zone
Chris: Get back to me once you change your mind
by guywithtaste September 8, 2016
Get the Friend Zonemug.