Jacob

A Jacob is a friendly, irritatingly smart yet height-disadvantaged male who has more chemistry past paper print-outs than past experience with speaking to girls. He will always be willing to hang out, but will have to sadly reject due to his revision-packed schedule. Jacob likes nothing more on a Saturday morning than to devour a bowl of Weetabix and punt a couple of crochet balls. If you are ever looking for a Jacob around town, be sure to check the local Londis as he will often be found negotiating the price of Prime energy with the shopkeeper. It is always a good idea to keep a Jacob at hand, as he will often know the answer to most typically redundant physics questions and can be relied upon to make a prick of himself after a single egg cup of 0.1 percentage beer. One downside of a Jacob is that he will be irrevocably musically inept, and will neither be unable to sing the tune of a song nor clap along to the beat. Buyers are informed that Jacob will 9 times out of 10 come with an absolutely middle haircut.
In conversation:
"Hey, saw you head into ALDI just then, what you buy?"
"Oh, nothing, I just heard there was a Jacob wandering around in there, thought I might check it out."
"Whoa! I better go sneak a peek myself!!"

Receiving a message or snap from the local Jacob:
"What's this message I've ju... Oh It's from Jacob. Better ignore it then." (probably biology advice)
by joeep333 August 11, 2023
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Jacob

A bitch with big feet and a big ol heart
girl #1 : EW JACOB

girl #2 : he’s got such a big Dick!
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jacob

A Jacob is a very dumb nobhead and tends to go out with boys :)
by bignoob69420 February 16, 2020
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Jacob

the kind of guy who will take your virginity in a parking lot and cheat on you shortly afterwards
friend 1: that guy is hot
friend 2: careful, that’s jacob
friend 1: oh f*ck
by happycookie69 October 17, 2019
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Jacob

by Real Alberto April 24, 2022
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Jacob

Jacob has the biggest nose in the world, he should be in the world record books for biggest nose.
by Big nose hoes January 18, 2020
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Jacob

To deny something in terms of permission or just facts and what happened or something is what jacobing it is so thats what it means to jacob something
He asked me if he can have permission to operate my car but I jacobed it and another example is a man at the bar asked me if I drank his beer but I jacobed it and you jacob things if you have to jacob things
by User T70 July 07, 2024
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