Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

Turtle

A VSCO girls favorite animal

Is that a plastic straw?!?! *slaps plastic straw out of hand* Here you can use my metal one! Save the turtles!!! SKSKSKSK!!

by steppedindogpee November 16, 2019

turtle tuesday

the best day

i love turtle tuesday

by sircarno January 19, 2021

turtling

when you go to take a shit but you dont finish and you end up walking around making it hard to walk normally

im sorry ma i cant come downstairs

ma: jimmy are you okay?
no ma why dont you get me some laxitives
ma: youre turtling again arent you
i said no mom im not turtling i just need some laxitives
ma: no your turtling
all i wanted was some laxies just one laxy

by fat nickle berry September 17, 2025

Turtle-stabbin

A popular term for inserting a man's penis into an anal cavity. Most likely this is done in the doggy style position however can be done in many other preferred intercourse techniques.

"After the I left the bar last night, I went Turtle-stabbin with Stacy. Got into a bit of a sticky situation."

by Tiffini Smith February 8, 2018

ninja turtle

when someone opens up to their fear or tells a deep story about themselves, but is interrupted by someone who says something unnecessary or asks some nonsense. the phenomenon is called beeing "ninja turtled"

"I told my deepest fears but was interrupted by an ninja turtle"

by Merihaka July 29, 2021

Ass Turtle

Another word for retard.

"Man your such an ass turtle, you know that?"

by Dosoboi October 12, 2019