Noah "PeePaw" Szymanski

Considered by some to be the greatest basketball player ever, PeePaw is known for longevity, playing across 4 decades. He averaged 18 PPG, on highly efficient shooting splits with a career .50 FG%, .37 3PT%, and .89 FT%. PeePaw entered the league in '76 quickly rising to be one of the leagues top forwards on both ends of the court, this peak was short-lived however as he led the league in turnovers in '81. The next year a bizarre trend emerged that was only later discovered by sportswriter Jon Bois in 2017. Rookie PG Fat Lever and PeePaw recorded the exact same stats over the course of the '82 season. This trend would continue all the way to Fat Lever's retirement in '95, including his injury in the '92 season where PeePaw sat out due to marital troubles. For the next four years PeePaw played limited minutes putting up career lows. However in 2000 when PeePaw started due to injury, he proceeded to have one of the greatest seasons ever at 43 years old. He averaged 26.8 PPG on 57.8% FG% and 40.6% 3PT% shooting, and 13.9 APG, winning the league's MVP and leading his team all the way to the finals. However, the most impressive stat from this season was PeePaw's 12 total dribbles, scoring purely off his silky jumper and masterful jab step + head fake bag. Much to the dismay of fans PeePaw announced his retirement in the post game 7 press conference saying that he couldn't continue on after the events of 9/11. This caused confusion at the time as nobody knew what 9/11 was.

Foolish Ragamuffin: "My glorious king Unc is the GOAT of basketball"
Wizened Elder: "Be quiet youngblood! Noah "PeePaw" Szymanski is the GOAT and it ain't even close. That brother blew up the defense like it was the North Tower"

by PeePaw_9/11_truther January 2, 2025

Noah

Might be gay we don't know but likes diddeling people (not women) also enjoys say gex. Builts boat and leaves you. kinda funny sometimes and, quite the exquisite spesimen and always say some gay shit beuse funny.

Noah are you fucking gay?

by Degenerate_HH January 13, 2025

Noah Grunfeld

An absolute melon.

Mohammed Husein: Look at that melon over there.
Saddam Hussein: No, that's just Noah Grunfeld.
Aadit Chandrani: Oh shoot, you're right!

by fuck school you fuckjsdlkcascd June 16, 2025

noah smeriglio

also known noah smegma and noah smiggles.

wanted member of the italian mafia and will rape anyone he sees.

steven: noah smeriglio

by thugbootycalc June 16, 2025

Noah

a fucking fatass who has short balding black hair and the tiniest dick to exist.

1. “DUDE LOOK ITS NOAH“
2. “BRO HES SO FAT“

by AFUCKINGTACO June 22, 2025

I CHOOSE NOAH!!

Yeah, keep screaming it moron. Noah has never posted anything here he does not have a phone.

Iam "For the past 15 years I have been-"

Whore "I CHOOSE NOAH!!!"

Hym "You're a retarded whore and you fuck retards with fat cocks so you can feel intelligent get your cervix pounded."

Whore "I CHOOSE NOAAAAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAH! BLULULULULULULULULU!"

Hym "You being like this is why your kids are like this and if they weren't they would stop getting mass murdered overnight."

Whore "I CHOOSE NOAAAAAAAAH!!!!! BLULULULULULU! I'M IMMORTAAAAAAAAL!!!!"

Hym "Name the person I am better than."

Whore "NOAAAAAAHULULULULULULULU- Er- Wait... I CHOOSE NOAAAAAAAH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Hym "Heheheheheheh..."

by Hym Iam June 30, 2025

You're only saying it because I said it about Noah

In the same way they are only fucking him because they "like retards and he has a big dick"

Hym "You're only saying it because I said it about Noah. And I don't just have to accept it and shut up about it because it makes your fucking slut daughter cry. She is going to pay the price for you trying to force me to be worse than that fucking cripple. And even if it isn't HER it'll be maybe the little girl who wasn't listening to her mother as she chased the dog barking at me right as she gets within arms reach. You fucks need to stop trying to act tough because you were crying like a bitch a second. No I am not going to 'learn how to talk to women' and no I'm not going to let you turn what is happening to me into a good thing at my expense. And I don't trust you enough to tell me whether or not your kids get murdered after you arrest me. I'll just assume it's the case."

by Hym Iam July 1, 2025