Captain J. Skinnybones

Captain J. Skinnybones is a very short, skinny, and epileptic captain who will have an immediate seizure if you shine a blare light in his eyes. His real name is Joshua and he rages over video games, discord, and is horrible at just about everything he does. What is he a captain of? I don't know. Don't ask me, ask him. Also, did I mention he's REALLY short and skinny?

Captain J. Skinnybones just beat me in Big Scary forty-seven times over. I will now shine a blare light in his eyes as punishment.

by Bartholomew The Eraser March 20, 2024

The Captain

When a girl goes down on you in a hot tub and as you cum and convulse she stays sucking causing her to dunk her head underwater until you finish.

That girl was The Captain, she went down like a champ

by sugar918 January 13, 2022

Captain Warpspeed

45th president of the United States and WEF stooge, Donald Trump. Named so due to Operation Warpspeed.

"WAKAWOOGA MAGAMOOGA TRUST THE PLAN! DVRK MVGV TRVMP!"
"You're still on the TrumpTrain after Captain Warpspeed has done jackshit to help Julian Assange?"

by 5MillionAttoparsecsFromHell May 30, 2024

the captain phillips

Based on the true story of the pirates who control the Horn of Africa, the captain Phillips is the act of sticking Somalian weapons in your partners genitals followed by screaming "I am the captain now!!!"

Baby get ready for the captain Phillips I'm gunnna stick a lifeboat sized load of cum in you.

by Snitches.get.stiches. August 26, 2017

Captain Quil

A person who crushes fakes a mental injury in order to acquire pills such as quils. These pills are often crushed and sniffed, or cooked up into a spoon for "hooting".

1. Doctor: Are you still hearing voices in your head telling you to kill yourself?
2. Omar (Captain Quil): Yes, all the time. Now can I please get a some pills prescribed?

Later that evening Omar snifs the quils.

by CharlesTheQuil April 3, 2009

Captain nickolai

Captain nickolai is what you would call someone that is bald

" that girl is such a captain nickolai "

by Naq enthusiast April 6, 2022

Captain Rim Jaw

An alternative super hero that dwells in the west country of England. Often mistaken for Dustin Diamond or Jerry Seinfeld. His super powers are a very powerful rimming jaw and a throwing arm belieing his otherwise Mr Burns like stature.

"I saw Captain Rim Jaw at Second Bridge last night, he left chocolate sauce everywhere"

by Micky Dolenz May 9, 2022