Granola Bars

Granola Bars are food-like items used to create friendships with C2s. More powerful than any fruit snacks.

C2: Want to be friends?

Person 67493J: Sure

C2: ...

Person 67493J: ...

C2: Where... Where are the Granola Bars?

by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 25, 2021

Granola bars

What C2s create friendships in order to get.

Person 1 Why does my friend keep stealing my granola bars??

Person 2: Because she's a C2!

by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 21, 2021

Granola

A “ Granola” can be described as a Vegan, Organic, Non-GMO, BPA-Free, Grass Fed, Grass Finished, Dairy Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Lemon Wedge Deodorant wearing overly environmentally friendly non-hippy-but-also-a-hippy-at-the-same time stereotype (Think hippy minus the drugs and the tie dye.) Granolas often smell like curry and likely live in an off-the-grid tiny house in the middle of some field they probably don’t actually own. In said tiny houses in an effort to save the climate, they likely redirect their “all natural toilet waste” from their glorified port-a-potty into their veggie compost to later use as “natural” fertilizer. Granolas often dress in an outdoorsy fashion that also resembles that of a well dressed hobo. It is not uncommon to identify a Granola wearing Birkenstocks, Athletic Shorts, Camel Back backpacks, North Face Jackets, and more regardless of whether or not they take frequent hikes. Granolas may also be seen driving a Subaru Outback with several decals on the back windshield that often refer to climate change and world peace.

I love Jan but after her month long getaway in the deep woods of the Rocky Mountains, she turned into a total granola!

by NoboHobo January 19, 2022

Acting like a granola bar

In essence, when one is acting like a granola bar, it means that they are acting in an unstable and unprecedented manner, that it evokes concern to all individuals nearby. Like Nature Valley Granola Bars, which tend to disintegrate easily. If an individual's mental health and overall lifestyle is showing signs of decline and instability, one could say that they are acting like a granola bar. In closure, to act like a granola bar means that you are fucking Wilding and acting crazy asf.

Person 1 background: recently lost their job, about to be evicted, has gotten numerous restraining orders in the last few days, hasn't taken care of their hygiene in a long ass time, and is doing black tar heroin on the double.
"Hey bro, you see that thicc ass Boulder near the highway?"
Person 2: "yeah what about it?"
Person 1: " yo we should like totally drive full speed towards it, it would be like so poggers lol"
Person 2:" imma be real with you, you have been acting like a granola bar recently, I think we should have an intervention"

by reformedshibainu January 14, 2022

Granola Stomp

The desire to or actually have sex with those who are "hippie" or "granola" even though they may not be your normal sexual tastes. Kombucha is usually involved.

Subarus, rock climbing, all natural or sporadic bathing habits, and a dash of B.O. are typical traits of these "granola" or "hippie" folk.

Usually a one time experimental experience.

I would totally granola stomp that chick.

I had a granola stomp last night.

by a-letto March 19, 2021

granola

a heterosexual white man that finishes after a singular stroke because of his built up testosterone from watching anime porn, usually named some basic shit like will or jackson

hook ups with frat boys are granola as fuck

by akhxloqnx July 10, 2022

Granola-Bar

A granola-bar is a device that is used to create friendships with C2s. Creating what is known as the C2's granola-bar effect.

C2: You forgot to bring a granola-bar today?

Person 8888: sorry, I forgot.

C2: It's ok.

Person 8888: Really?

C2: Sure... So long as you bring me 2 granola-bars tomorrow!

by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 21, 2021