Captain Flex

Dude with a slim build who sees himself as more of a Scottiah adonis body god
Usually found peacocking around the floor for no reason
Throws out a random flex when a member of the opposite sex is around

Look at BB over there peacocking round those hoes, he is the real deal captain flex

by Jonsnowknowsnowt July 27, 2016

captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.

Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".

by DiogoAttitude November 22, 2016

Armchair captain

Someone who has 10,000 hours practice flying an armchair at a maximum flight ceiling of 0 feet above the ground, and who feels like they must never be distracted from their glorious mission of defending their front room. See also: lazy git

I have just been qualified as an armchair captain, but I can no longer feel my arse cheeks

by Armchair captain 1 June 26, 2024

Captain Gay

Captain Gay is an awesome super hero that wears a rainbow flag as a cape, and has a mini transgender flag on (because he is transgender). He also wears rainbow suspenders and a rainbow word shirt, with grayish/ black skinny jeans, eyeliner, and black converse Chuck Taylor's. Don't forget about his sidekick captain Blurry face. And they are the most friendly super hero's ever. He can charm everyone, while she can blast good music.

Captain gay is here, so is Captain blurry face, time to rock out.

by Captain gay's favorite fan March 31, 2017

Captain H-Ball

Any extremely intoxicated boat captain from a mix of cocaine, mushrooms and cheap beer.

Dam Captain H-Ball we almost hit the channel marker doing 60mph in a no wake zone. Arrrr past me the straw and platter and let me arrrrr powder the nose.

by Captain Smoothwater September 2, 2022

captain saggy balls

An old grouchy man

Captain saggy balls over is always complaining about the prices of food.

by Captain saggy balls August 8, 2017

captain kirking

to use a numerous amount of ellipses in a sentence or sentences when responding to someone via text and capitalizing entire words for unnecessary emphasis

Sender of message: I... would LIKE to get to know you... if you're interested... please MESSAGE me...if you want...thanks...
Recipient of message: Wow - really captain kirking this aren't you.

by Bad_Idea_Fairy January 13, 2015