GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!

When you want your pet named Gary to get a bath, so you strap a bomb to your chest in an attempt to scare him in to doing it.

Robert:“GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!”

Gary:”Meow”

(Robert explodes)

by Intruderalertredspyisinthebase August 20, 2024

30 second job

When you only last 30 seconds when having sex with a girl

Hey Erik do you do 30' second jobs

No Jacob I last for like 5 minutes when I'm having sex, no 30 second jobs

by 30seconejob February 17, 2016

general smear (the second update: 25.04.24)

The shitty-doings of General Smear continue to drown the students of Baulko. It started with the walls and students but at one point... he just could not hold it in any longer. Students. Teachers. Principal. AND ESPECIALLY the Janitor was smeared all over. Fortunately, following this disastrous attack, we can identify one particular victim and gain a 69-minute interview with the boy himself. NAMELY, Zuhair, or as his new name post-catastrophe, ZuShit. This momo dupe of a Bengali boy just wanted to learn about the ideal GAS laws, especially GAY loose(nut)sacks law. However, the general had other plans. ZuShit was surprised to learn he would not only learn the theory of how gas is formed but rather was given an unexpected practical on how gases turn into brown precipitates. Feeling like he had learnt a lo that lesson he gleefully walked out the corridor when he noticed something... a stench. Connecting the brown dots, he took a glance down at his feet evidently covered, shmeared and engulfed by the general's signature premium shit. he ran to confront the general who was shitting in the female cubicle as he was in a quite a hurry. The stench was simply too blasphemous.

Knock Knock!
"get out buddy i am trying to cook up tonight's dinner! please wait your turn"
"no you don't understand what you have done. my parents bob and sam will not accept me. they will sent me back to syria.

"mate i don't have time for this shit! piss off."

Saranyan: Damn bro i feel really bad for ZuShit.

Rishi: yeah no cap fanum tax ohio rizzler.

Saranyan: must be a shitty experience

ZuShit!: hey dont make fun of me guys!!!🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Rishi: i think its time to let the public know general's true powers in the latest general smear (the second update: 25.04.24)

by dailybritishbrownboy March 25, 2024

second day of every year

on the second day of every year, the chickens.

fun fact: on the second day of every year, the chicken

by funni guy January 23, 2023

Second-rounder

In the dating game, a second-rounder is a person who didn't get married in their 20s like 1st rounders. They're usually still in "game shape" for sport fucking, but for whatever reason, the mental game never clicked and could never get married and retire from The Game.

Second-rounders are typically primo picks for divorced 1st rounders who are still in Game Shape themselves, but now have to get back into The Game

A milf got married and had babies, but a Second-rounder never got picked from the sidelines before their 30s.

by Leon_Washington August 09, 2021

second great-great-cousin-uncle

Great-grandparent's male second cousin.

My second great-great-cousin-uncle is a good person.

by Gtopql November 24, 2019

second bestness

Second bestness is when you know you are not the first choice if somebody asks you to be someone (wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend) or to do something (i.e. become the boss). You know that someone else was first choice and altough you accept the offer, it rankles and stays wth you forever, turning you into a bitter, overbearing person.

"I think Mum's feeling of second bestness is why she's always so horrible to me - knows Dad wanted to or should have married someone else."

by mimbijones April 07, 2023