Spacetime-Probability Engineering

The ambitious practice of designing systems, structures, or interventions that function across probability branches, ensuring that your bridge stands not just in this timeline, but in all timelines where physics is roughly the same. Spacetime-probability engineers must account for the fact that their designs exist in a superposition of states until observed, making traditional quality assurance a nightmare. The field is particularly concerned with "probability fatigue"—the tendency of materials to wear out faster in branches where they're used more heavily—and "branch resonance," where failures in one timeline can propagate to others if you're not careful.

Spacetime-Probability Engineering *Example: "She was a spacetime-probability engineer who designed a bridge that was mathematically proven to stand in 99.9% of all possible probability branches. Unfortunately, the 0.1% included the branch where a rogue wave hit at exactly the wrong angle, and also the branch where someone forgot to tighten a critical bolt. The bridge stood, but she still worried about the bolts in other dimensions, where she was presumably explaining herself to an investigation committee."*

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spacetime-Probability Social Sciences

The study of how human societies would organize themselves if everyone knew that all possible outcomes exist somewhere in the probability dimension. How do you build consensus when every decision branches into infinite alternatives? How do you punish crime when the criminal exists in branches where they didn't do it? And how do you manage relationships when you know there's a version of your partner who loves you, a version who tolerates you, and a version who has already moved to another dimension and started a new life with someone else? Spacetime-probability social sciences suggest that societies in such a reality would either achieve perfect peace (nothing matters, everything exists) or collapse into utter chaos (nothing matters, everything exists).

Spacetime-Probability Social Sciences Example: "A spacetime-probability social sciences study examined how couples would function if they could see all possible versions of their relationship. The researchers found that most couples, when shown a branch where they were happier, immediately became unhappy with their current branch. When shown a branch where they were miserable, they felt relieved—until they realized that version of them was also suffering. The study concluded that infinite knowledge is terrible for relationships and recommended blissful ignorance."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spacetime-Probability Sociology

The specific analysis of group dynamics in a five-dimensional reality where communities are not just spread across space and time, but across probability branches. How do you form a neighborhood when your neighbor exists in a branch where your houses are in different positions? How do you hold a town meeting when attendees keep branching into alternative discussion threads? And what happens to social hierarchies when everyone knows there's a version of themselves that's richer, more popular, and better looking? Spacetime-probability sociology reveals that in a multiverse of infinite possibilities, the only thing that remains constant is the human capacity for jealousy, which somehow transcends dimensional boundaries.

Spacetime-Probability Sociology Example: "At the first inter-branch community meeting, a classic example of spacetime-probability sociology occurred. Representatives from different probability branches tried to agree on a zoning law. Branch A wanted parks; Branch B wanted parking lots; Branch C had already zoned everything for miniature golf and couldn't understand why everyone else was behind. The meeting ended when someone pointed out that in Branch D, they'd already resolved everything and were having cake. Everyone immediately wanted to be in Branch D, and the original meeting collapsed into branch envy."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spacetime-Probability Philosophy

The branch of thought that asks what meaning, responsibility, or even identity can exist in a reality where every possibility is actualized somewhere. If every choice you could make is made by some version of you, are you responsible for any of them? If there's a branch where you're a saint and a branch where you're a sinner, which one is the "real" you? And if infinite versions of you exist across the probability dimension, is death just a local phenomenon, with other branches where you're still alive, possibly reading this definition and wondering the same thing? Spacetime-probability philosophy doesn't provide answers, but it does provide an excellent excuse for every bad decision: "Somewhere, a version of me didn't do this, so statistically, I'm only half responsible."

Spacetime-Probability Philosophy Example: "After a particularly bad breakup, he sat in deep spacetime-probability philosophy. 'Somewhere,' he thought, 'in another probability branch, we're still together, happy, maybe even watching a movie. And somewhere else, we never even met. And somewhere else, I'm the one who left first. So which version is the real me? Which version is the real her? And why does the version that's currently crying on the couch feel so much more real than all the others?' He then realized that philosophy, while profound, did not help with the crying."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spacetime-Probability Theory

The revolutionary theoretical framework proposing that the universe operates not in four dimensions but in five, with the fifth being the dimension of probability. This theory suggests that every possible outcome of every event doesn't just "might happen"—it actually exists as a real coordinate in a hyperdimensional landscape. Your decision to have tea instead of coffee? That's not a choice you made; it's a position you occupy in probability-space. Your parallel self who had coffee is just a few probability-units away, living their caffeinated life, blissfully unaware of your decaf existence. The theory elegantly explains why you always pick the slowest checkout line: you're simply occupying the probability branch where that happens, while a more fortunate version of you is already in the parking lot, smug and satisfied.

Example: "He tried to explain spacetime-probability theory to his girlfriend after she asked why he was late. 'In the dimension where I left on time, I'm already here,' he said. 'But in this dimension, traffic was bad. I'm not late; I'm just occupying a different probability coordinate.' She said she occupied a coordinate where he was sleeping on the couch, and the theory held up remarkably well."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spacetime-Probability Mechanics

The branch of five-dimensional physics that describes how objects move through the combined manifold of space, time, and probability. Unlike classical mechanics, where an object's position is defined by three spatial coordinates and one temporal coordinate, spacetime-probability mechanics requires specifying which probability branch you're in at any given moment. This explains why your keys seem to "teleport" between locations—they're not moving in space; they're shifting in probability-space, and you're just not observing the correct branch. The mathematics involve "probability vectors," "branch trajectories," and a complex function called the "universal wavefunction of lost items," which has so far resisted all attempts at analytical solution.

*Example: "He applied spacetime-probability mechanics to his morning routine, calculating that his phone had a 73% probability of being in the bedroom, 20% in the kitchen, and 7% in a dimension where he'd already left for work and was currently panicking without it. He checked the bedroom, found it, and felt like a five-dimensional genius. Then he realized he'd been holding it the whole time, which the equations had not accounted for."*

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spacetime-Probability Physics

The overarching discipline that unifies general relativity (space and time) with quantum probability into a single five-dimensional framework. Spacetime-probability physics posits that what we call "reality" is just the specific probability slice we happen to be observing, while the full five-dimensional universe contains all possible slices simultaneously. This explains quantum superposition (particles exist in multiple probability coordinates until observed), the arrow of time (we just keep moving in one direction through probability-space), and why your favorite socks always seem to disappear (they've simply shifted to a probability branch where they're paired with a different sock, living their best life in another dimension).

Example: "She studied spacetime-probability physics and now explains that the universe isn't weird—we're just only seeing a tiny slice of it. 'Your dead car battery,' she says, 'exists in a branch where it's fine, and also in a branch where it's even more dead. You're just in the branch where it's inconveniently dead.' Her friends find this less helpful than jumper cables but more philosophically interesting."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026